Watermelon & Lime Tequila Popsicles

Well, it’s that time of year again. The sun is high in the sky and the internet is churning out popsicles with the pointed enthusiasm of a confetti cannon. That’s a thing, right? A cannon that shoots out massive quantities of confetti? If it’s not, we’re just going to pretend that it is. There’s even a emoji for that. You know that party hat with the confetti coming out of it? That’s emoji for confetti cannon. And, since there’s no popsicle emoji (don’t even get me started), we could simply articulate this whole situation with like seven confetti hats, a blazing hot sun, and a Spanish dancer. Oh, and like five watermelons and three fruity cocktail drinks to represent the tequila in these. I’m glad that we’ve agreed on our emoji game. It makes me feel more secure.  […]

Roasted Summer Fruit Cookie Shortcake With Coconut Whipped Cream

Summer felt different when I was a kid.

It was thick and lazy with the scent of chlorine clinging to everything. Perpetual tan lines carving their way through my shoulder blades. Rich purple plums being plucked off of my grandparents’ tree — the warm juice trickling down my chin. It was matinee movies with buttered popcorn. It was watching my dad try to put out fires we’d accidentally set with shady roadside Fourth Of July Fireworks. I can still see him running around the back yard, chasing away sparks with the lid of the BBQ. It was the beach, and family vacation. Sleepovers were long, and filled with whispers about boys. We made prank calls and ate pancakes. It was dusky evenings in the tree house–swinging in a hammock and deciding what character I’d be in The Babysitter’s Club (Claudia–always Claudia). It was the sticky packages of store bought shortcake, fresh strawberries and a canister of whipped cream. A little bit gross, but also kinda great. […]

Grain-Free Lemon Vanilla Cookies

It’s Monday. I’m tired from Weekending. Yes, this is totally a thing.

You know how people are always like “I need a vacation from my vacation –wahhhhhh!!”? Because that’s a thing that people always say (myself included–wahhhhhh!). Well, I propose that we start needing weekends from our weekends. This will make us professional weekenders. And, I’m all about learning more professional skills. Imagine your new resume! Under your special skills you could put things like: Typing, Excel & Weekending. I wouldn’t call myself an expert on corporate business strategies, but I’m pretty sure your new boss would be thrilled to see that one of your core skills is blindly looking forward to Fridays. I think it, simply put, makes you a forward thinker. They’re into that stuff, right? I don’t know. Maybe I should just stick to things that I actually know–like, how Mondays are most certainly for cookies. Yes, that’s my final answer.  […]

Grain-Free Ginger Cherry Berry Scones

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself sulking outside of a local bakery. This isn’t a gluten-free bakery, but they do make a fantastic gluten-free scone. I arrived too late in the day, and as usual, they were completely sold out. However, my wheat-eating husband bought himself some ridiculous looking apple-stuffed, almond-stuffed, hopes and dreams-stuffed croissant. I was irrationally upset about this situation. I could feel my blood pressure rising as I watched bits of pastry flake off onto his shirt, and tiny bits of apple adhere to his adorable mouth corners. All I wanted was a scone. I briefly considered not eating breakfast at all. How could I? I had been dreaming of that scone for… well, at least the last thirty minutes. I could taste the flaky bits of berry filled dough in my mind. No other breakfast would measure up. I was on a scone only hunger strike. I was quickly becoming an insane person. This happens when hunger sets in. I’m still myself, but the drama is cranked up to eleven, and the tears start to nag at my ducts, begging to be released. It’s as if I’ve melded my physical person with the frenetic emotional instability of Buster Bluth, and the overly emotive face of Oscar The Grouch. If you’re wondering, my husband really loves when this happens (he doesn’t).  May I remind you that all of this is happening OVER A SCONE. Ugh.  […]

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