The season overtook me. I broke out the big guns and made pie crust from scratch. Shizz got real. Perhaps a little too real.
It all started with these Gluten-Free Buttermilk & Apple Hand Pies. You can head on over to that post and read about the trials and tribulations of baking a pie. Long story short, following directions is not my strong suit. Sometimes I get a little fast and loose with my measurements. Pie crust is not the place for this. Pie crust is math class. There are rules. Luckily there is also butter. This automatically makes pie crust better than math class. Life rule. Continue reading →
I’ve been sitting here trying to write this blog post for the last twenty minutes or so. The things I typed out onto the page are suspicious at best. There was this whole bit about a Sailor appearing out of nowhere and taking us to Margaritaville. A boozy nautical kidnapping if you will. There was an entire paragraph where I described what this margarita would be wearing if it were a super hero. For some reason it had a sombrero made of limes. There were tights. There was a cape. His super powers included staining your clothes and getting you drunk. I don’t even know anymore. This week has been a doozy.
Somewhere between starting this post and the last string of deleted sailor and superhero metaphors, my spirited Golden Retriever managed to find her first mud pit of the season. She usually never comes inside when I want her to, but of course, today, with pride in her eyes and paws full of mud, she charged me. She ran puppy laps around the couch. There were expletives. There were paw prints. There was me, on my knees, scrubbing a carpet and carefully removing chunks of earth from it’s fibers. There was a guilty puppy face. There will be a Friday night steam cleaning party. Continue reading →
Are you looking at the title of this post and thinking, “Whoa. Did you just name that green juice like one would name a cocktail?” Yes. The answer is yes. I thought it would make green juice fun and flirty. It was either Kale, Pears, Mint n’ Stuff or The Minted Pear. I stand by my choice. We deserve to make our green juice fancy. Pinkies up, yo.
Alright, so last week was off the chain. I feel like I got hit by a birthday bus. How are you guys doing? You good? Did you make any of those donuts yet? Oh, lawdy! Those things are crazy good. Go make those and then come back here and make this. The two go hand in hand. You’ll get it. This stuff is good for an “okay, maybe that fourth donut was a bit much” hangover. I should know… I drank and entire quart of it. Not kidding. It goes down real easy. Continue reading →
Okay, Okay. I know you’re probably super tired of Birthday Week by now. It’s been an entire week of celebration. That’s a lot. Are you nursing a donut hangover? Yeah, me too. Or maybe it was that plate of ice cream sandwiches? Biscuits? Er…pudding? Who knows… it’s cool… let’s just throw a champagne cocktail on top of that. CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, C-MON!! No regrets. Alright, so it’s almost over. Just bear with me. I have one more post for you. I feel like it’s only fitting I send off our first birthday with a full on love letter to YOU. It might get a little mushy… but, we’ll get through it. Afterwards we can get drunk. We’re going to mix champagne and bourbon together. What could go wrong? Don’t answer that question. Okay, here we go… Continue reading →
It’s still Birthday Week, and I’m still totally slingin’ dessert down your throat. Yesterday was ice cream sandwiches, today it’s pudding.
I know what you’re thinking. I can read your face…
You’re thinking that if you make this here pudding and pair it with a side of kale chips, plus some bourbon on the rocks then you’ve got yourself dinner! Funny, I thought the EXACT same thing. I’m here to tell that you’re correct. Yes. That is a fine pairing. You’re a smart cookie. I like your style. Do you have some vegan friends? I’m pretty sure if you show up at their door with a bowl of this creamy chocolate pudding, A LOT of kale chips and a jug o’ bourbon then you’ve got yourself a vegan potluck. Yer welcome. Heck, I’m a total omnivore and I would not turn you away. Come on over. Let’s get that pudding party started. I’ll get two spoons. Continue reading →