If I told you that you could make this entire meal and only dirty a single skillet, would you try to make-out with my face? Because, that’s totally going on. It’s another one-skillet wonder. So much better than a one hit wonder, right? Or… a one trick pony. Although, I sincerely wonder what the original One Trick Pony’s trick was. I imagine a pony wearing a tutu and singing songs from Les Mis while juggling. But, it probably wasn’t that cool since technically my imagination already puts that pony at THREE tricks. Don’t be a three trick pony isn’t a saying. Continue reading
Like, sincerely broken. Not in that “the dog ate my homework”, excuse-y kind of way. I’m not blaming the oven for almost setting my cookies on fire yesterday, even though it was programmed to bake at 350 degrees. Except, that’s exactly what I’m doing — because, instead of heating up to a sensible cookie-baking temp, it heated up to approximately five billion degrees. Parchment paper turned to ash. Macadamia nuts and dark chocolate morphed together into hardened lumps of expensive coal. This all happened within three minutes.
I went to turn the oven off, and it said “This function is not in use“… Uh… Okay. So, I’ll just live like this now. I’ll get used to existing in a home with burnt cookies and a blazing oven inferno — spouting hell fire and destroying dreams. For a moment I imagined us dragging blankets into the kitchen and camping out in front of our new perma-hot stove heater for the rest of the winter. It’s the more expensive version of one of those garbage can fires you see in hobo movies. I tried to turn it off again. It shut down this time. Just for kicks I tried to turn it back on and it gave me an error message. To anyone who’s experienced this you will understand when I say my oven was giving me a glaring, steaming, cookie-charring middle finger.
It’s post-New Year’s. My Christmas tree is gone (although I keep finding needles in weird places–how did that get in my bra?!), the ornaments are packed away, and the lights are down. But, I’m still experiencing a major holiday hangover. After holiday travel, the flu, a Lyme flare, and a couple of stress-inspired poor eating decisions (I’m looking at YOU entire gluten-free pizza with enough cheese to choke a horse), my body is BEGGING me to get back on track. So, I’m listening to my body’s plea and responding with my favorite detoxing green juice, salad, soup, and lots of episodes of Friends on Netflix. It does a body good. Continue reading
I hope you had a great holiday season. I spent my time road-tripping up to Washington state in order to spend Christmas with the in-laws. This is the first major trip we’ve embarked on since I started my Lyme treatment. Big deal stuff. We packed up our little car and made room for our golden retriever in the back seat. We listened to a lot of this podcast. We took Emma to the beach on Christmas day. We drank some of my Apple & Cinnamon Bourbon at night. We watched an entire slide show of really adorable fat naked baby photos featuring my husband as said really adorable fat naked baby. We stopped in Portland for a night on our way home and stayed in a totally quirky dog friendly hotel. I woke up to gluten-free apple fritters and then spent too much money at Powell Books. You can check out more of our trip on Instagram. Continue reading
Few things say “Holllliiidaaaayyyy… Cellllleeeebrrraaaaate” to me more than shoving a bunch of fruit and spices into booze to make even FANCIER booze. We’ve done it before with this Apple & Cinnamon Bourbon, with which we’ve expertly crafted these Hot Toddies. But, now we’re delving into the world of dried apricots and ginger and other spicy spices. It’s a good place to be. It’s going to make one FANCY jar of booze-juice. Like, people should be excited if you’re their secret Santa. I mean… what would you rather have? A ten dollar gift certificate to Starbucks or a nice little bottle of home-infused boozy cheer?! If you said Starbucks, I don’t hate you… but, I’m not, like, totally into you right now. We can make up later. Here, have some of my legendary peace-making Vegan Chocolate Pudding. Better? Good. Now, let’s get infusing. Continue reading