Roasted Kale Sprouts, Apricots & Bacon

It’s a sweaty August afternoon. And, yeah. You guessed it. I’m sweating.

I’m sitting here writing to you with an aggressive amount of coconut oil in my hair, dishes in my sink, and wearing last night’s pajamas. I really overshot things in the attempt to give my recently colored hair a much needed coconut oil moisture mask. Like, I can feel oil dripping down the sides of my face, and maybe down my back. I’ve tucked paper towels into the front of my sports bra in order to make a bib to catch the drippings. This is real life, my friends. This is real life. At any moment I could be mauled with an enthusiastic Golden Retriever tongue bath. Emma likes coconut oil a lot… so, I’m trying to type quietly as not to wake her from her power nap. My hair could become her afternoon snack. So, shhhhh. She’s dreaming little doggy dreams, her legs moving wildly trying to chase things. I wonder if she smells the oil. I wonder if she’s chasing me. Yikes! […]

Bacon & Apple Beef Liver Pâté

“What am I? Chopped liver?” 

This was a phrase commonly used in my childhood. I hugged one grandparent and the other would expectantly wait for their hug and exclaim something about being a piece of chopped liver. It was a phrase that popped up a lot. I’m sure you’ve heard it or used it, or had a Nana say it to you while squeezing your cheeks. The phrase was used to express a feeling of being left out. The visual of sad, grey, organ-meat-mush being neglected on the side of one’s plate is haunting. Until this past year, this was the only experience I had with liver. It was only a concept for loneliness and isolation. An expression. A visual symbol of exclusion.  So, in my brain it wasn’t meant for human consumption. I equated it on the same plane as drinking a tall glass of human tears. It’s just not done. Also, sad. Also, gross. […]

Balsamic Roasted Asparagus & Cara Cara Oranges

Five things I know to be true:

1) Fruit gets a little bit more awesome when you shove it into the oven and let it get all sweaty and juicy.

2) The above sentence sounds about a billion times more sexual than intended (even though I totally didn’t say moist, so you’re welcome).

3) Asparagus is so delicious, that I don’t care if it makes my urine smell like actual cat food. It’s par for the course.

4) Roasting veggies with fruit, in a bath of oil and balsamic vinegar, and then hitting them with some steak seasoning is a total culinary panty dropper.

5) The above sentence sounds only marginally worse than I intended. But, as with the feline food-urine… it’s just par for the course in these parts. #BloggingIsWeird #Sorry […]

Roasted Kabocha Squash, Carrot & Ginger Soup With Lamb Meatballs

So, I haven’t eaten eggs, tomatoes, peppers, white potatoes, eggplant, grains, dairy or nuts in about twelve days.

I’m doing a bit of an elimination diet in order to detect some suspected food allergies. I’m not going to lie to you, it could be easier. In the past twelve days I’ve realized I feel slightly paralyzed without eggs and I put tomatoes in nearly everything. But, in the hopes of not freaking out and attempting to sell my kidney on the black market for a plate of runny-yolked gold, I’ve been trying my best to make satiating meals that aren’t lacking in flavor. However, I’d like to reiterate that taking away things like tomatoes and chili powder and paprika make me feel like I’m cooking with a couple of those lobster claw oven mitts on. A little clumsy. A little frustrated. A little confused as to why I have lobster claws instead of hands. I’m sure there were like a zillion better, more coherent similes that I could have used right there. But, of course, I went oven mitts. Oy. […]