Roasted Kale Sprouts, Apricots & Bacon

It’s a sweaty August afternoon. And, yeah. You guessed it. I’m sweating.

I’m sitting here writing to you with an aggressive amount of coconut oil in my hair, dishes in my sink, and wearing last night’s pajamas. I really overshot things in the attempt to give my recently colored hair a much needed coconut oil moisture mask. Like, I can feel oil dripping down the sides of my face, and maybe down my back. I’ve tucked paper towels into the front of my sports bra in order to make a bib to catch the drippings. This is real life, my friends. This is real life. At any moment I could be mauled with an enthusiastic Golden Retriever tongue bath. Emma likes coconut oil a lot… so, I’m trying to type quietly as not to wake her from her power nap. My hair could become her afternoon snack. So, shhhhh. She’s dreaming little doggy dreams, her legs moving wildly trying to chase things. I wonder if she smells the oil. I wonder if she’s chasing me. Yikes! […]

Roasted Summer Fruit Cookie Shortcake With Coconut Whipped Cream

Summer felt different when I was a kid.

It was thick and lazy with the scent of chlorine clinging to everything. Perpetual tan lines carving their way through my shoulder blades. Rich purple plums being plucked off of my grandparents’ tree — the warm juice trickling down my chin. It was matinee movies with buttered popcorn. It was watching my dad try to put out fires we’d accidentally set with shady roadside Fourth Of July Fireworks. I can still see him running around the back yard, chasing away sparks with the lid of the BBQ. It was the beach, and family vacation. Sleepovers were long, and filled with whispers about boys. We made prank calls and ate pancakes. It was dusky evenings in the tree house–swinging in a hammock and deciding what character I’d be in The Babysitter’s Club (Claudia–always Claudia). It was the sticky packages of store bought shortcake, fresh strawberries and a canister of whipped cream. A little bit gross, but also kinda great. […]

Honey Roasted Apricot Manhattans

If you know me, you know that I love bourbon.

Somewhere along the line it happened. I’m not sure when, but it did. I gave up my teenage affection for hard lemonade, and my Sex And The City-induced Cosmopolitan phase in favor of spicier, boozier, hair-on-my-lady-chest-ier pursuits.

My husband found his love of Bourbon through my father. It became a family affair. If we’re having a cozy evening with my family, there is a more than likely chance that we’re going to be swilling Manhattans with (or as) appetizers. If you’re wondering, this practice goes really well with a game of Cards Against Humanity. It’s only slightly awkward when your Mother (the decidedly least gross, modestly-mannered person in the bunch) pulls out a big win for putting together combinations of cards that would make a sailor blush. Okay, perhaps it’s best that you play at your own risk. You’ve been warned. Mothers can surprise you. […]

Honest Whole 30 Recap, Week Three + Rosemary Meatballs With Dijon Collard Greens & Apricots + Enter to WIN the Autoimmune Paleo Cookbook!

Well, my lovely friends–It’s been THREE whole weeks. If you are just joining us this week, I can catch you up with Week One and Week Two!
For three whole weeks, no cheese has touched these lips. No grains have graced my tongue. Nary a bean has entered this pie hole. More than that… no actual pie has entered this pie hole (not even pizza pie). These days I stress eat carrots. Do we call this progress? Maybe. Does the fact I think those carrots taste dang sweet feel like a victory? Not sure. Mostly I feel like nature is tricking me into feeling like veggies belong in a Willy Wonka film. That’s fine. We can make that chocolate river into a green smoothie. Add some chia for texture. Not too much, though, or we can’t boat on it.  This has already gotten weird. You’re welcome.
All in all, things have been going really great. I don’t feel as tortured and dramatic in the day to day. There have been a few evenings of cravings where I just sub in something benign. Oh, I can’t have a hunk of chocolate? No problem. I’ll just eat this apricot and some almonds. The substitution does one of two things–it either satisfies you or you’ll find yourself grumpy and not able to eat it because it’s not chocolate. The second one means you’re not really hungry. If you’re looking all sideways at an almond and blaming it for not being dessert, just put the almonds down. No need to curse at them. I’ve already done it for you. We’ve had a dialogue. It turns out it wasn’t the almond that has issues, it was me. Typical. […]