I’ve been plotting, scheming and nearly ruining surprises for over a month. Seriously. I’ve had to lie and cover up and bury email chains and all of these things I am not programmed to do.
My husband had a birthday coming up and I wanted to surprise the heck out of him with a trip back home to see family and friends. I wanted it to be a huge surprise. Not just like “Hey. Look. I made you waffles. Surprise.” but like “SURPRISE!! We’re going on VAYCAY! OMG, DID YOU JUST PEE YOUR PANTS?!” That’s what I was going for. You know, something subtle. It worked. I don’t think he peed his pants, but he was definitely in shock. It took a solid thirty minutes before it all set in and he realized he best pack a bag.
So, off to Washington we went!
My brother-in law picked us up from the airport and helped coordinate a bunch of Pete’s oldest friends to meet us at an Indonesian restaurant. There was a lot of food. This was the only picture I took that night. I was really busy stuffing my face with Nasi Goreng, drinking too much vodka, and reveling in all the merriment. At least I captured the trick candles. This is the third time Pete tried to blow out that cake. Why does that never get old?
That actually does not pertain to how I feel about my juice, I have just been listening to a lot of 90’s music lately. Like…a lot. Like…I might have spent over an hour looking up music videos from the 90’s on YouTube last Friday. No big deal. Subsequently, I have had the song Baby Got Back stuck in my head for days. This only becomes awkward when you start singing it subconsciously in the checkout line at the grocery store. The woman in front of you turns around after you get to the “L.A. face with a Oakland Booty” part of the tune. You make eye contact. You stop singing. You think about winking at her but realize that just perpetuates the weirdness. Don’t make it weirder. It’s too late, you already winked. She probably thinks you’re hitting on her. Oh man, you can’t recover from this one. Not. At. All. You could try to explain that you have just been listening to a whole lot of 90’s music lately, and you were not singing the song directly to her. You could try to explain that you sometimes just wink in awkward situations, or you could lie and say you had something in your eye. The explanation of your behavior will only make things weirder. You grab your groceries and pretend like you forgot something in the produce section. You wait until this person leaves and find another check out line. Whew. Yikes. Get out of there. Continue reading →