So, as I sit here frantically ordering Christmas presents on Amazon and trying to figure out who is going to puppy-sit my crazy dog when we go out of town next week, I thought it would be best if we eased some of the frenetic energy with COOKIES. Lots of cookies. I have some pretty talented cookie loving blogger friends. We’ve got you covered. Continue reading →
You know how I can’t seem to NOT let a banana turn all brown and mushy and gross? It’s like one of my hobbies. Should we count the times I’ve actually reached into my purse and accidentally squished an over-ripe banana all over my wallet? It’s a lot of times. I never learn that lesson. Curse the banana for being so portable and so quick to ripen! It’s a trick of nature. This is my way of shifting the blame onto an entire species of fruit that I can’t seem to get it together and clean out my purse like a grown up. I think it’s working.
Lucky for you, my reckless regard for the shelf life of a banana is working in your benefit. Remember this Tipsy Blueberry Banana Bread? That recipe rose from the ashes of a bunch of black bananas like a gosh darn Phoenix. After that post, my lovely friend Lauren commented that I really should be freezing all of these bananas and that they don’t need to hang out on my counters dying and attracting fruit flies. Okay, she didn’t put it like that… but, I got the hint and I totally started loading up the freezer. There are a comical amount of frozen bananas in there. I am seriously waiting for my husband to open up the freezer and have an avalanche of frozen bananas rain down on him. Not only would that be comically genius, but the look on his face would be priceless and probably pretty angry. Is it wrong that I find it super endearing when he gets angry? Oh, marriage.
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Nothing says “your four day weekend is officially over!” like waking up at 3:30am to the sound of your cat vomiting onto your bed sheets. It got way too real way too quickly this morning.
I mean, I know that not everyday can be farmer’s markets, painting the entire living room while listening to old Beck albums, beautiful Golden Gate Bridge views, fro-yo in the sun, grilling in the afternoon, marathon-ing Netflix, too many potato chips, drinking whiskey in your underpants because it’s so dang hot and summery kind of a day. I know. I get it. Without the routine of real life those four day weekends of glorious nothingness and everything-ness would not seem special. But… I still feel waking up to the sound of your cat retching suspiciously close to your ankles is not ideal. However, when this unfortunate event does happen, I will give you a pro-tip. Sure, you might be the first person to wake up at the cat’s heaving. Maybe your husband or partner is still snoring and fast asleep next to you. You can totally nudge them until they wake up and then pretend that YOU are sleeping. They will hear the terrible noises and rush to clean things up. Not that I have ever done this (I have). That is so rude (but totally effective). Being married is awesome.
You know what else is awesome? This slightly drunken loaf of blueberry banana heaven! Did you like that flawless segue? Naturally. Okay, so I might have baked this loaf of bread while it was close to 100 degrees outside. This is because 1) I am obviously slightly insane and 2) My husband gets really angry when I don’t use the old bananas that I let rot into mush on the counter. These bananas are laying there browning and mushing because I always claim I’m going to make banana bread. Do you guys do that too? Pete has little tolerance for it anymore. I kind of get it. We have been doing this relationship thing for ten years. Those ten years have seen lots of rotting bananas that have NOT made their way into banana breads. It pets his peeve. Is that a thing? Do I have to say pet peeve together? I don’t think I like the sound of petting someones peeve. Perhaps that is my pet peeve. Full circle. Continue reading →
Sometimes you need chocolate, and you need that chocolate exactly NOW.
Yesterday, that chocolate monster was me. It was probably a red flag when I got onto Twitter in the afternoon and tweeted awkwardly about how badly I wanted a milkshake. Actually, I’m pretty sure I phrased it “The things I would do for a milkshake right about now…” or something to that effect. You shouldn’t tweet things like that. It invites people to send you weirdly inappropriate messages questioning just how far you really would go for that milkshake. It then makes you realize all of the things you WOULDN’T do for a milkshake. There are lots of things I absolutely WOULD NOT DO for a milkshake. Ever. That list is long! I mean, I really like milkshakes, but a girl has standards!
After deciding it would be the best of moves to get off of the internet promptly, I started to dream about a hunk of dark baking chocolate I had in my pantry. I walked over to the pantry and held it in my hands. I unwrapped the corners and thought seriously about just digging in. No one would know. I was alone. No. No, Gina. Have some self control. We will bake something. Get the corner of that pound of baking chocolate out of your mouth. Be a lady. My conscience can be a real downer.
After some consideration, I decided that we should take some zucchini bread and make it chocolate-y. Oh, and then throw some coarsely chopped dark chocolate in the batter to create pockets of melt-y pure-chocolate goodness. YES!!! Continue reading →
After a week of intense recipe failures one needs to bake cookies.
I think this is a rule. It feels like it should be a rule. Let’s call it a rule.
In between my lemon bar attempt and operation ”OMG, is that supposed to be gnocchi!? ”, I managed to get something right. I put some sunflower seeds into a food processor and made some nut butter. I combined it with almond butter. The two did a happy dance. I added in large chunks of dark chocolate, and decided that these cookies should be GIANTS. Instead of making a recipe that would yield a sensible dozen, I decided to instead make you six cookies. Big cookies. Forget about your kitchen failures cookies. Are you surprised that I didn’t just make one big cookie and take a fork to it? Yeah, me too. Continue reading →