1) It’s POPSICLE WEEK! That’s right. All week there are bloggers around the net popping off popsicle recipes and helping you get some of that sticky-end-of-the-popsicle-juice all over your chins. Who declared it Popsicle Week? Well, that would be Billy of Wit & Vinegar. There are 37 of us throwing recipes your way this week! You can find all of them HERE on Billy’s blog as they go up throughout the week.
If you’ve never been to his blog, I suggest you go. He’s hilarious and I kinda wish that we could get together and dunk some of these popsicles all up in some booze and just see what happens. We can talk about Mariah Carey and sing a lot of Vision of Love (um, yeah, so..that’s my Dad playing keyboards in that video–not kidding). There are lots of snacks, and sometimes we high five. At some point in the evening there are talks of learning all the choreography fromSingle Ladies, but after realizing we’ve had too many booze+ popsicle mash-ups, we just call it a day and play Scrabble. We show each other pictures of our dogs and tell stories about them like they’re our kids. The usual friendship things. Note: none of this has happened, it’s just a really weird fantasy that I happen to be sharing on the internet in front of all the people. Meh. Oh, well…Continue reading →
You wake drowsily at 9:00am because you were forced to take a powerful antihistamine the night before. You took this antihistamine because of all of the mosquito bites that you have managed to acquire. They itch. You have a particularly gnarly one on your stomach, which proves curious since you don’t remember wearing anything resembling a crop-top. You’ve been spending a lot of time outside. Even at night. This is where all of those rosy mosquito bites came from. It’s been sunshine on sunshine on sunshine. You’ve been sporting a tank top and frolicking in the outdoors despite your allergies. Your eyes are swelling slightly? You can’t breathe? We should probably go inside…BUT IT’S JUST SO GOSH DARN SUNNY! Your body craves this wicked vitamin D festival, so you ignore your allergies, eat some local honey, inhale some prescription nose spray and get real about eye-drops. You start scoping out and trying to guesstimate how much of your backyard your next door neighbors can see through their kitchen window. Obviously this is because you would like to read a good book while wearing your birthday suit. You surmise the neighbors can see way too much. You also surmise that they’ve already seen way too much. Why did you not check this out before you decided to go out into the yard in your underpants (MULTIPLE times)? Not sure. Oh well. You find yourself out at farmer’s markets. You find yourself paying $7.50 for a green juice. You know this is expensive, but you can’t help it. It looks so good. You suck down $7.50 worth of fruits and veggies in a flash. You try to be mad about the price, but you can’t because it tastes too good, although once it is gone you find yourself tinged with a bit of regret. You have an awesome juicer. You could have made three green juices at that price. Sheesh. Also, you should put sunscreen on your husband’s neck, it’s about to burn. This is our real life. Continue reading →
When you are a kid, there’s pretty much no vehicle more awesome than an ice cream truck. It’s sugar on wheels. I remember the ice cream truck targeting our neighborhood since it was filled with kids. My brother and I would perk up, then in a joint effort run to our parents. “Can we PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get some ice cream?!” It was as if nothing else mattered and maybe we could possibly die if ice-creamy goodness did not hit our lips in the next two minutes. Sometimes the ice cream truck would travel to our house close to dinner time, and the answer would be no. In these cases I remember the world ending a little bit. There was some light pouting, maybe some foot stomping. My brother, who is six years younger than myself, would either follow my pout-y lead, or in a true act of excellence THROW himself on the floor. We were dramatic. Mom ignored it. Good move, mom. Imagine what we could do if we had an audience! Continue reading →
That actually does not pertain to how I feel about my juice, I have just been listening to a lot of 90′s music lately. Like…a lot. Like…I might have spent over an hour looking up music videos from the 90′s on YouTube last Friday. No big deal. Subsequently, I have had the song Baby Got Back stuck in my head for days. This only becomes awkward when you start singing it subconsciously in the checkout line at the grocery store. The woman in front of you turns around after you get to the “L.A. face with a Oakland Booty” part of the tune. You make eye contact. You stop singing. You think about winking at her but realize that just perpetuates the weirdness. Don’t make it weirder. It’s too late, you already winked. She probably thinks you’re hitting on her. Oh man, you can’t recover from this one. Not. At. All. You could try to explain that you have just been listening to a whole lot of 90′s music lately, and you were not singing the song directly to her. You could try to explain that you sometimes just wink in awkward situations, or you could lie and say you had something in your eye. The explanation of your behavior will only make things weirder. You grab your groceries and pretend like you forgot something in the produce section. You wait until this person leaves and find another check out line. Whew. Yikes. Get out of there. Continue reading →
You wake up, you put on some work out gear, and you go to head out the door. When I bent down to tie up my sneakers I realized that I was halfway through a cookie. What? Where did that come from?
How are these cookies even still on my counter? I asked my husband to take them to work (turns out he filled up the biggest Tupperware he could find and left the rest).
Creepy, unconscious phantom cookie-eating. It happens. It’s spooky. It’s also kind of delicious, I won’t lie to you.
These cookies I speak of are pretty amazing and will be making an appearance here very soon. But still. The first thing I did this morning besides push a 14 pound cat off of my stomach, grumble and throw on some stretch pants was shove a cookie in my face. I can do better. So, I did. After I finished that cookie. Continue reading →