1) Blow drying your hair while it’s 90 degrees outside is not ideal. You will sweat. A lot. Put on your mascara AFTER you are done if you do not want to look like one of those sad ceramic clown masks from the 80′s. Or heck, let your locks air-dry. You can call your semi-curly mullet “beachy”. It’s totally the season for that. Ugh. It’s a hot mess. Literally.
2) Going to the gym at two in the afternoon is the best. No one is there. Except that one guy, with his button down shirt tucked into his jean shorts. He is looking at your butt. You can see him doing it. There are mirrors everywhere. Okay. Maybe it’s time to change machines. Definitely.
3) I would like to hang out with a Capybara. I imagine us dressing up in matching outfits, walking the streets and dancing to this song. My brain lives in these places. It can get kinda weird in there. Continue reading →
Look-y here. I’ve managed to make you something that isn’t breakfast. I’ve apparently been on one serious breakfast-y kick. I’ve been turning out waffles, quiche, and smoothies galore. I point out the fact I’m bringing you something non-breakfast since I am pretty sure tomorrow (or at least soon) I am posting something breakfast-y. Sorry (not really).
So…yesterday got weird. Mostly because I’m me and can’t seem to stay off the internet no matter how terrifying it can be. I had a weird tingle in my leg, which I promptly Googled (bad move). Don’t do this, friends. Don’t Google every twinge or tingle or pain that happens in your body just because you can. I’ve been telling myself this for years, but I can’t seem to take my own advice. When you Google a symptom, no matter what your symptom is, it usually leads to “OMG, I AM DYING!!!” Since I was experiencing a weird leg tingle, the sage and soothing advice of the interweb made me believe that I was probably, most likely, right in the middle of a stroke. Things got dramatic. I started pacing back and forth, thinking “OMG. I am having a stroke. This is not good. This is extremely bad.” The dog looked at me suspiciously and without major concern. Aren’t dogs supposed to be sympathetic? Geez. Continue reading →