The Greeña Colada Smoothie

I am slutty for coconut.

You guys have probably figured this out by now. I can put it in a salad, I will sprinkle it on your donuts, and I will most certainly use it to make nutella. There is simply no shame in my game.

However, I have not publicly declared my love for pineapple. This is a love that  runs deep through my Hawaiian veins. It is some serious affection. I will eat it until the acid makes my tongue start to burn.I have vivid memories of sitting with my Papa in his kitchen and having him sprinkle salt on pieces of freshly cut pineapple, and then, as he would say, “we went eat it up.”  He is a good eating partner. I remember being small and always placing myself strategically near him if he was eating something like poi with dried shrimp or was cutting up a fresh tuna into sashimi. I am no fool. I would bat my big eyes, reach out my chubby kid hands, and a piece of fresh sashimi always seemed to land in my finger tips. I knew how to work that glorious system. Honestly, I think he just loves to share the things that he loves with me. It was a source of pride for him to see his tiny granddaughter developing a serious taste for all of the flavors he had grown up with on the islands. […]

Carrot, Apple & Ginger Juice

It’s juice time again.

I like ’em real thick and juicy.

That actually does not pertain to how I feel about my juice, I have just been listening to a lot of 90’s music lately. Like…a lot. Like…I might have spent over an hour looking up music videos from the 90’s on YouTube last Friday. No big deal. Subsequently, I have had the song Baby Got Back stuck in my head for days. This only becomes awkward when you start singing it subconsciously in the checkout line at the grocery store. The woman in front of you turns around after you get to the “L.A. face with a Oakland Booty” part of the tune. You make eye contact. You stop singing. You think about winking at her but realize that just perpetuates the weirdness. Don’t make it weirder. It’s too late, you already winked. She probably thinks you’re hitting on her. Oh man, you can’t recover from this one.  Not. At. All. You could try to explain that you have just been listening to a whole lot of 90’s music lately, and you were not singing the song directly to her. You could try to explain that you sometimes just wink in awkward situations, or you could lie and say you had something in your eye. The explanation of your behavior will only make things weirder. You grab your groceries and pretend like you forgot something in the produce section. You wait until this person leaves and find another check out line. Whew. Yikes. Get out of there. […]

Lime And Coconut Green Smoothie

 It’s been cold and damp outside  for a long time now.

Our backyard is in a perpetual state of wetness. The earth is cold and crumbly. The rain stopped a while back, but the mud just hasn’t recovered.

I’m painfully aware of the state of my backyard because I have a puppy and a white carpet.

Perhaps it was after this morning’s shenanigans where my muddy dog came tearing past me into the house, running laps and dodging my attempted side tackles, leaving a trail of her dirty feet like a horrifying dance-step diagram, that I really started longing for warmer and drier days.  She is currently on time out. She seems pleased with herself as usual.

It was at 8:30 this morning, on my hands and knees, cleaning up a trail of muddy paw prints, I started fantasizing about luxuriating out in the sunshine and sipping on mojitos and  piña coladas. […]

Killer Cabbage Juice | Juice Of The Week

I got ballsy.

I juiced a cabbage.

If you had told me last year that I would be juicing pretty much anything and everything, I would have told you to back off and stop making weird predictions. Also, out of all the things you could predict with your psychic gift, you should give me something juicier than becoming a juicer. Maybe tell me that I am coming into a fortune, or that I will have really great hair for all of 2013. Tell me that my dog will be perfectly trained and stop trying to gorge herself on the cat-box  Tell me that Pajama Jeans are now finally in fashion for reals and I should really just woman-up and buy them. I would welcome any of these predictions. […]