Grilled Eggplant Parmesan

Back up, Dudes. This girl totally learned how to grill this summer!  That’s right, I made fire. I made the charcoal glow. I totally put stuff over it and let it get all warm and crispy. I flexed my inner stud-muffin and grilled the heck out of  meats and veggies alike!  Did I almost light my hair on fire? Maybe. But you know… there’s always a learning curve. Me + Fire + General Clumsiness = Could have been worse. I think I might make my husband nervous. Even though I told him to back off, and in his attempt to not tell me what to do (because, really…who likes that?)  I can see him peeking at me from the other side of our sliding glass doors. Probably best. It’s always good to have a teammate when you set your hair on fire. One person to scream (me) one person to extinguish (him).

So… we all have vegetarian friends, right? I know I do. For some reason most of my really close friends are of the non-meat eating varietal. This used to stress me out. Am I allowed to say that? I know, I know, weird right? This coming from the girl who doesn’t eat gluten. Look at that big fat double standard, eh? I’m sure my gluten eating friends totally talk about how frustrating it is to feed me. It’s cool. We make due. I respect you. Let’s all just have a glass of wine. That’s vegetarian. I think it’s even vegan. If we found a bottle of wine in a back alley, that would technically be freegan. Beautiful. I like where this is going. It’s most likely going to end with a lot of exuberant dancing and a headache.  […]

Easy Beef Kebabs With Tangy Rosemary Chimichurri {Gluten-Free & Paleo}

I’ve been slowly but surely learning some lessons in the past couple of weeks. Shall we discuss?
1) If  you happen to be jogging and someone pulls to the side of the road, rolls down their window, and extends their arm out towards you to hand you some sort of piece of paper, don’t stop. Keep jogging. Maybe you thought this piece of paper was just some sort of pamphlet. You have been getting a lot of Jehovah’s Witness pamphlets lately from the nice people that like to knock on your door early in the morning when you aren’t wearing pants. What’s another one, right? Wrong. This is not a godly pamphlet. This is a crudely written note stating “Please you call me.” Elaborate, right? Is he driving around with a stack of these things? Well, more elaborate would be the stick figure drawing off to the right of his written plea. Although the arms and the legs are stick-ly, he has managed to tack on what I can only describe as a shocking portrayal of genitalia. Jog. Jog faster.
2) If someone knocks on your door and you are not wearing pants, it’s usually a Jehovah’s Witness. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with them. Everyone has freedom to their own beliefs. The problem I have is how often they seem to knock on my door when I am pants-less. Don’t open the door when you aren’t wearing pants, even if you think you can just peek your head through and cover your body with the main part of the door. You have a crazy Golden Retriever. She will try to get outside. You will be on your door step with a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses, pants-less, trying to wrangle your dog. This is uncomfortable for everyone. Also, can we discuss how every single one of the pamphlets I receive has some version of kids smiling while eating a bounty of fruits and veggies, along with some sort of moose or other woodland creature. I’m confused. Probably as confused as the poor JWs were because I wasn’t wearing pants at 2:00pm on a Tuesday. […]