Green Spinach Lemonade

I’m in the process of moving.

That’s going to be a completely different post. I don’t have enough time or enough space in this post to cram in all of those feelings–because there’s lots and lots of feelings. They’re those deep feelings that come with spurts of ugly crys and a sinking sensation in one’s chest. I’m not ready to go.

My life has been a whirlwind of moving boxes and Goodwill donations (why the heck was I hanging onto that pair of distressed stretchy lace-up denim from high school? Bye bye. I hope you fulfill your denim destiny on some other misguided tween). In a final push of not wanting to do a big grocery shop right before we have to depart from here, my food life has been weird. It’s been handfuls of granola and apples dipped in peanut butter. There’s been store bought seaweed salad, green smoothies from Whole Foods and take out from Chipotle… not to mention that entire gluten-free pizza I stress-guzzled over the weekend. It’s all a big mess. So, I’m posting this green drink because this is what would be good for me. I could hide in one of the larger moving boxes, sip on some veggie-laced lemonade and gently weep. Sound like a good Tuesday? Ugh. I should stop talking.

Moving sucks. […]

Super Green Apple Juice

Oh, look. Green juice.
You saw this coming, didn’t you?
My body is into it. After cookie-ing and booze-ing and making the world’s cheesiest mac and cheese for Christmas dinner, it just feels like a solid move to open up my fridge and cram all of the vegetables I can muster into a quart of super-charged green juice. It feels Popeye-esque. I halfway expect to drink this jug o’ juice, spawn some serious triceps, and punch the day in the face with awesome force.
In other words, it feels good. It feels like a proper New Year reset button. I might have not spawned immediate Popeye triceps, but I totally got out of the yoga pants I’ve been living in, put on a decent looking adult human sweater and slapped some mascara on my eyelashes. Oh, and there is a bra and it is on my body. Are we not supposed to talk about bras? I don’t remember the rules. Things are moving in the right direction. I’m officially recovering from the sloth-ity that was my holiday vacation. I’m nearly ready to sit down and do some intention setting for this year. Maybe I will even do a post about it in order to keep myself accountable. Things become progressively more real once you put them out into the world… or in my case, the entire interweb. Yikes. […]

Pump Up The Beet Juice | A Juicing Recipe

Pump up those beets, pump them UP… while your feet are stompin’, and the beets are pumpin’. Look at here the crowd is jumpin’!!

It’s normal to change Technotronic lyrics to match your green juice recipes, right? Cool. I thought so. Can we remake this video too? Maybe the flashy background could be a bunch of psychedelic beets and we could wear hammer pants that are covered in veggies?  Let’s keep all of their dance moves though. That choreography is solid. Bless the 90’s. They were good.

Did I lose some of you? Probably. Just watch the video. It will get your Wednesday movin’.  Dare I say it might even pump it up? I said it. Can’t take it back now.

So, this morning I realized out of all of the juicing we have done here, we have never juiced beets together. What?! How is this possible? I love beet juice. We’ve made juice that tasted like a mojito. We’ve definitely juiced carrots. We’ve even juiced a watermelon. We’ve taken beets and blended them into one of the best smoothies of my life. Seriously, that smoothie is something special. I’ve even taken beets and made chocolate cake out of them. Whoa.  Yet, I haven’t shared with you my go to beet juice recipe. This just seems wrong. Let’s fist pump and right this wrong together. I’ve got that Technotronic song in my brain so hard that my top half is typing these words to you, but my bottom half is dancing. Pump it up!! Can’t control myself.

[…]

Donut Peach Green Juice

Don’t get too excited. I didn’t juice a donut (not that I’ve never considered it).
Instead, we’re juicing the glorious donut peach. That’s right. No, it’s not filled with jelly or fried to perfection. It is simply a sweet little variety of white peach that looks like it has been smushed into the shape of a donut. They are also called Saturn peaches. Perhaps it’s because they are simply outta this world… amirite? See what I did there? Of course you did. Oh, what’s that? We’re ignoring that joke and just moving on because you’re doing me the solid courtesy of letting it slide? Gosh, I appreciate you. For reals.
Perhaps it’s one of those days where we should get right to the recipe. The next joke I have in my brain involves a rocket ship. Don’t ask. Really. It’s Thursday. Officially the day in the week where my brain turns to cheese and puns fall out of my mouth with no regard for their quality. I’ve officially pulled the third rotting banana this week out of my handbag, and I’m eating cold meatballs for breakfast. Jealous? Don’t even get me started on my outfit. It’s like MC Hammer meets laundry day meets covered in dog hair. Can’t touch this. *Insert uncomfortable pelvic thrust dance moves here* […]