Giant Sunbutter & Chocolate Chunk Cookies {Gluten-Free & Paleo}

After a week of intense recipe failures one needs to bake cookies.

I think this is a rule. It feels like it should be a rule. Let’s call it a rule.

In between my lemon bar attempt and operation “OMG, is that supposed to be gnocchi!? “, I managed to get something right. I put some sunflower seeds into a food processor and  made some nut butter. I combined it with almond butter. The two did a happy dance. I added in large chunks of dark chocolate, and decided that these cookies should be GIANTS. Instead of making a recipe that would yield a sensible dozen, I decided to instead make you six cookies. Big cookies. Forget about your kitchen failures cookies. Are you surprised that I didn’t just make one big cookie and take a fork to it? Yeah, me too. […]

Watermelon Margaritas

Last week.

Don’t even get me started.

I came here on Friday to write you a post about my various kitchen mishaps. The post got too long. That’s right. It was that kind of week. I found myself on Facebook complaining and insisting we all have margaritas. Yeah, I wasn’t kidding…

These drinks are what happens when you manage to make lemon bars taste like scary scrambled eggs, spend hours making gluten-free gnocchi that ends up turning into doggie treats, and make yourself a green smoothie that tastes like wet salad. Yes, I did these things. It got real. Oh, boy. I have some scores to settle with a couple of recipes. They will be mine. Mark my words. […]

Kale, Apple & Ginger Juice

You know it’s spring when…

You wake drowsily at 9:00am because you were forced to take a powerful antihistamine the night before. You took this antihistamine because of all of the mosquito bites that you have managed to acquire. They itch. You have a particularly gnarly one on your stomach, which proves curious since you don’t remember wearing anything resembling a crop-top. You’ve been spending a lot of time outside. Even at night. This is where all of those rosy mosquito bites came from.  It’s been sunshine on sunshine on sunshine. You’ve been sporting a tank top and frolicking in the outdoors despite your allergies. Your eyes are swelling slightly? You can’t breathe? We should probably go inside…BUT IT’S JUST SO GOSH DARN SUNNY! Your body craves this wicked vitamin D festival, so you ignore your allergies, eat some local honey, inhale some prescription nose spray and get real about eye-drops. You start scoping out and trying to guesstimate how much of your backyard your next door neighbors can see through their kitchen window. Obviously this is because you would like to read a good book while wearing your birthday suit. You surmise the neighbors can see way too much. You also surmise that they’ve already seen way too much. Why did you not check this out before you decided to go out into the yard in your underpants (MULTIPLE times)? Not sure. Oh well. You find yourself out at farmer’s markets. You find yourself paying $7.50 for a green juice. You know this is expensive, but you can’t help it. It looks so good. You suck down $7.50 worth of fruits and veggies in a flash. You try to be mad about the price, but you can’t because it tastes too good, although once it is gone you find yourself tinged with a bit of regret. You have an awesome juicer. You could have made three green juices at that price. Sheesh. Also, you should put sunscreen on your husband’s neck, it’s about to burn. This is our real life. […]

Raw Apple Pie Energy Bites {Gluten Free, Vegan, Paleo}

So… here it is. Monday. We meet again

The weekend was fantastic. There was LOTS of sunshine. There was grill use. There were pricey organic hot dogs. There was a pricey organic hot dog combined with raw sauerkraut situation (so good). There were white wine spritzers out on the deck while we played a riveting game of Yahtzee.  There was a farmer’s market meet-up with awesome friends and their awesome kiddos. There was a beach. There was a very enthusiastic Emma at the beach who got to swim in the ocean for the first time. She was the happiest. There were long walks in the warm afternoon to go get gelato.  It felt like summer vacation. Why do we not get summer vacation as grown ups? Injustice!

As unjust as it may be, weekends end.  It’s totally Monday, and it’s totally back to real life. At least until Friday, at which point I reserve the right for it to be less like real life and more like summer camp with booze.

I’ve made you something to kick start your week. It’s an energy bite you can whip up in your food processor in a matter of minutes. You know those pricey energy bars you can buy at your health food store? You can make those. It’s simple. Plus, THESE TASTE LIKE PIE!!! Who doesn’t love pie?! Furthermore, who doesn’t like pie for breakfast? In my humble opinion, pie might be one of the best parts about the day after Thanksgiving. There’s obviously no need to make breakfast when you can cut yourself an embarrassingly large slice of pumpkin pie and eat it with your hands, like you are picking up a sandwich. I wouldn’t even be mad if there was some whipped cream on top. Whoa, this has taken a turn into my own personal pie fantasy. […]