Recently I completed a ten day cleanse. I needed a reset. My body was feeling sluggish, tired and heavy. I consulted a holistic nutritionist and off I went. Shakes. Veggies. Supplements. Repeat.
I didn’t talk about the cleansing process on here. I didn’t really want to trouble you all with my inevitable “EHRMAGHERD, ALL I WANT TO DO IS EAT MY ARM OFF AND YELL LOUDLY” attitude. That happened around day seven. Detox is a funny thing. It can make a usually jovial human being into a crazy, wonky-eyed monster, willing to sell their first born child on the black market for half a steak and a glass of bourbon. Perhaps this is dramatic, but still… it’s a thing. One night I cried into a bowl of Brussels sprouts. Just sobbing and eating. No big deal. I asked my husband to ignore me, as this was all just “part of my process”. He kept his eyes to himself like a gentleman as I tried to choke down sprouts through light sobs. This is no easy feat. Did you know you use a lot of your cry muscles to swallow? No? You don’t cry when you eat? Oh, ok… Continue reading →
Look-y here. I’ve managed to make you something that isn’t breakfast. I’ve apparently been on one serious breakfast-y kick. I’ve been turning out waffles, quiche, and smoothies galore. I point out the fact I’m bringing you something non-breakfast since I am pretty sure tomorrow (or at least soon) I am posting something breakfast-y. Sorry (not really).
So…yesterday got weird. Mostly because I’m me and can’t seem to stay off the internet no matter how terrifying it can be. I had a weird tingle in my leg, which I promptly Googled (bad move). Don’t do this, friends. Don’t Google every twinge or tingle or pain that happens in your body just because you can. I’ve been telling myself this for years, but I can’t seem to take my own advice. When you Google a symptom, no matter what your symptom is, it usually leads to “OMG, I AM DYING!!!” Since I was experiencing a weird leg tingle, the sage and soothing advice of the interweb made me believe that I was probably, most likely, right in the middle of a stroke. Things got dramatic. I started pacing back and forth, thinking “OMG. I am having a stroke. This is not good. This is extremely bad.” The dog looked at me suspiciously and without major concern. Aren’t dogs supposed to be sympathetic? Geez. Continue reading →