Fig & Dark Chocolate Scones {Gluten Free & Paleo}

For most of my life, I thought Figs were a mythical kind of fruit. You know, like the fruit equivalent to a Pegasus or a Griffin.
To be fair, I never actually saw a whole fig in the flesh until my adult life. I had two fig references in my wheelhouse:
1) Fig Newtons: A delightful snacking cookie. I thought the person who made these cookies was named Mr. Fig Newton. I once asked my Grandfather what the filling was inside these cookies, to which he replied “something prunes.” As you can imagine, this threw me off the scent. As far as I was concerned Mr. Fig Newton was sitting in his house baking cookies filled with “something prunes.” I asked no questions.
2) Christmas Caroling: You know those lyrics in We Wish You A Merry Christmas? There is a whole verse where we demand something called “figgy pudding.” In my mind this sounded totally gross, and I didn’t ask questions. I assumed this so-called pudding was probably mushy, stinky, and something from tales of yore. I had visions of people clad in bonnets and bodices scooping chunks of wobbly pudding out into the hands of Christmas carolers. Whatever this stuff was, it was for sure old timey, as I’d never heard of it in my modern world. What ancient sorcery was this?  I don’t know. Maybe it was “something prunes.” Probably “something prunes.” […]

Cherry Tomato & Goat Cheese Galette {Gluten-Free}

I know, I know. Here I go about tomatoes again. But, OMG…

You guys. I totally didn’t kill my tomatoes this year.

This is BIG news. As someone who is enthusiastic about growing things, it can be slightly disheartening when I kill my succulents. Correct. I have killed various cacti in my gardening career. Don’t even get me started with my various vegetable growing flops. It’s a sad scene.

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Tipsy Blueberry Banana Bread {Gluten-Free & Paleo}

Nothing says “your four day weekend is officially over!” like waking up at 3:30am to the sound of your cat vomiting onto your bed sheets. It got way too real way too quickly this morning.
I mean, I know that not everyday can be farmer’s markets, painting the entire living room while listening to old Beck albums, beautiful Golden Gate Bridge views, fro-yo in the sun, grilling in the afternoon, marathon-ing Netflix, too many potato chips, drinking whiskey in your underpants because it’s so dang hot and summery kind of a day. I know. I get it. Without the routine of real life those four day weekends of glorious nothingness and everything-ness would not seem special. But… I still feel waking up to the sound of your cat retching suspiciously close to your ankles is not ideal. However, when this unfortunate event does happen, I will give you a pro-tip. Sure, you might be the first person to wake up at the cat’s heaving. Maybe your husband or partner is still snoring and fast asleep next to you. You can totally nudge them until they wake up and then pretend that YOU are sleeping. They will hear the terrible noises and rush to clean things up. Not that I have ever done this (I have). That is so rude (but totally effective). Being married is awesome.
You know what else is awesome? This slightly drunken loaf of blueberry banana heaven! Did you like that flawless segue? Naturally. Okay, so I might have baked this loaf of bread while it was close to 100 degrees outside. This is because 1) I am obviously slightly insane  and 2) My husband gets really angry when I don’t use the old bananas that I let rot into mush on the counter. These bananas are laying there browning and mushing because I always claim I’m going to make banana bread. Do you guys do that too? Pete has little tolerance for it anymore. I kind of get it. We have been doing this relationship thing for ten years. Those ten years have seen lots of rotting bananas that have NOT made their way into banana breads. It pets his peeve. Is that a thing? Do I have to say pet peeve together? I don’t think I like the sound of petting someones peeve. Perhaps that is my pet peeve. Full circle. […]

Leek and Asparagus Quiche With Almond Meal Crust

What have I always said is the most important thing?
Wait… did you say bears? You probably said bears. Nope. It’s breakfast (tied with bears). So, maybe I really miss Arrested Development already. Did you have a chance to watch the entire fourth season? We knocked that out in a couple of days. Now I want more and immediately would be best. 
We totally don’t have more episodes, but we DO have a recipe for breakfast. Important. I wish we had a recipe for brunch with bears. I could totally share my eggs with a couple of Grizzlies. I guess this is called “camping”, and the bears are usually discourteous party-crashers that would love to snack on your femurs with club sauce. Real. This daydream just got 100% more terrifying. Moving on… […]