Alright, it’s official. I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is more pumpkin.

I’ve caught a case of the pumpkins. It’s not hard to do. Have you been on pinterest lately? It’s like taking a visual pumpkin bath. I dipped my toe in. It was warm. Now I’ve taken off my pants and  am sitting in a full-on metaphorical bath of pumpkin puree and cinnamon sticks. I’m even thinking about turning on the jets and staying for a while (that visual might have gotten out of hand).  Seriously though, try not to crave something with cinnamon in it after trolling pinterest. Dare you. Also, just so we’re clear (and I don’t get a bunch of weird emails later) I’m only METAPHORICALLY bathing in pumpkin puree. I DO NOT in any way literally suggest you fill up your entire tub with a festive fall squash and then bathe in it. Unless that’s your thing. Who am I to rain on anyone’s pumpkin parade?! We all celebrate seasons differently. Press on, dear friends! But seriously, consider the clean up. That’s one heck of a mess.

Anyways…

I’ve decided to break in pumpkin season with this here granola. It’s like a LOVE STORY. Dim the lights. Allow me to set the scene…

Pumpkin goes out on the town and stumbles into a bar. He’s dashingly handsome, but feeling kind of lonely. He orders a shot of maple syrup to drown his sorrows. And then it happens…in walks Pumpkin Pie Spice (cue dramatic lighting change and soft focus effect). His jaw drops. She’s GLORIOUS. It’s like they were meant for each other. They go back to his place where they get fresh in a tub of coconut oil (oh, my!). They pledge their love for one another and the next morning decide to call up their friend Gluten-Free Oats (who totally got ordained online… so technically his name would be Reverend Gluten-Free Oats — but, he’s not pretentious so he just lets his friends call him Oats). They ask Oats if he’d be willing to do a quick-y marriage ceremony for them. He’s over the moon. They head down to City Hall, because even food items need to get a marriage license. No one is above the law. They vow to always stick together. They kiss (cue music… I’m thinking The Greatest Love Of All by Whitney Houston). They move into a cute little mason jar cottage and make lots of little baby pepitas. The end. Happily ever after. Oh, wait…I forgot about the raisins. Ugh. So, take that story and then add raisins. Perfect. Maybe the raisins can come in at the closing credits and do some sort of musical number with the whole cast?  Oh, and the walnuts and the flax seeds too! Perfect. Something tap. I’d love to see a flax seed strap on tap shoes. I like that.

I’ve named it “Killer Pumpkin Granola” because it is SUPER tasty and loaded with flavor, not because our Pumpkin protagonist is actually a killer. But that totally would have added depth to my shoddy storytelling. OH MY GOSH…I totally missed the opportunity to use the term “Cereal Killer”. SO. OFF. MY. GAME. Maybe I’ll do a re-write. Until then, let’s get to the recipe.

I totally acknowledge that this got REAL weird REAL fast. It’s Monday. This is how I am dealing. I can’t believe you’re still reading this. I like you all so much. xox

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