I’ve never been a big juicer.

You can listen to me complain about it here.

But, who says people can’t change?

This past week I made it my mission to embrace all that is wonderful in the world of juice. After thanksgiving happened, and I overdosed on cheese and sweets, I was feeling lackluster. It was time to step up my health game. I was ready.

So I loaded up on veggies and fruits for the week, took out my juicer and I haven’t looked back. The juicer has earned its spot on the counter right next to my kitchen aid.

So this particular juice is straight up delicious. It’s like a drinking a mojito, except  no one is going to judge you for tossing this one back at 7:00am on your way to work.  In fact, they might pat you on the back. Good for you.  You drank a whole head of romaine lettuce? You’re a total champ. If you had an actual mojito for breakfast you might get some weird looks on the bus that morning. Someone might comment about how you are sweating rum through your sensible pant suit. You smell like those Pirates of the Caribbean guys look.  Less of a champ. Maybe just stick with the juice version for the work week. Perfect.

Side Note: Spell check is trying to make me change the word “mojito” to the word “mosquito”. Why are they not acknowledging that mojitos are real? I have a bachelorette party hangover story to PROVE those suckers are real. Coincidentally, I have a honeymoon story to prove that mosquitoes are EXTREMELY real. That, my friends is totally for another day. In the mean time…wear bug repellent while in Mexico. It’s sexier than the alternative.

Since I’ve started cramming all of these veggies and fruits into my body, I have noticed some awesome changes in my overall mood, energy and vitality. Did I mention I’m sleeping better? Dangerously better?  Yeah…that’s happening.

I am not going to lie to you. You are my friends. We share things.  I’m a pretty good sleeper. My body lets me know when it’s time to hit the hay. I will usually just pass out on the couch come 9:30pm. It happens swiftly and without warning. BAM. Out. Commence drooling. Usually my wonderful husband will wake me up and some point and escort me to the bedroom and tuck me in.  The juice has only enhanced this already tried and true pattern. This is not what happened on Sunday evening.

Honestly, I wish I could tell you exactly what happened on Sunday evening.  Don’t you ever wish there were surveillance tapes of your life? You could just roll back some footage and make sense of things?  This would also help to keep my husband from stealing my chocolate stash.

Like most evenings, I was getting my narcolepsy on. I had passed out on the couch in a juice-filled healthy slumber. What happens next is puzzling. I believe, I might have decided to stand up while half awake.  Perhaps I was sleep walking. I somehow tripped over myself and sprained my ankle. I woke up fully to the sounds of my ankle popping and my clumsy butt hitting carpet. My husband heard a loud thud followed by some light screaming. One tends to get a little dramatic when woken up with injury.  Not great. It’s swollen. There is bruising. I am walking like the brand new owner of a shoddily-made peg leg.  And yes, it hurts real bad.

This is my only juicing cautionary tale.  You might sleep dangerously well. You’ve been warned.

Other than that, it’s dreamy. If you are not a big juicer, I say give it a chance. The more you drink it the more you like it. I almost crave it now.  I would say start out with a little more fruit than the pro I-only-drink-leafy-greens juice fanatic. You will slowly need less and less.  Just ease into it.

Let’s get our juice on.


1 head of organic romaine lettuce

3 cucumbers, peeled

1 lime, peeled

1-2  organic pears, chopped up

2 sprigs of mint

You ready for the easiest instructions ever?

Take out your juicer.

Juice these fruits and veggies.

Either drink this cocktail right away, or put into an airtight container like a mason jar and refrigerate it for later. Make sure to fill it up as close to the top of the jar as possible. The less oxygen that is in your jar the better. It will help to keep the nutrients from breaking down.  Make sure to drink within 48 hours!

And last but not least…

Make sure you are totally awake before standing. Always. 🙂

Bottoms Up.

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