How is everyone’s guacamole hangover going? You know what they say… the best way to cure a hangover is to eat some guacamole in the shower. Or was that drink a beer in the shower? I can never remember. Perhaps do both to cover your bases. Tortilla chips in the shower are not recommended, however, as they tend to get soggy when mixed with water. You’re going to have to go at it with a spoon. NBD.
So, this weekend I made one of these:
Oh, Emma. […]
Things that I have learned this week:
1) Blow drying your hair while it’s 90 degrees outside is not ideal. You will sweat. A lot. Put on your mascara AFTER you are done if you do not want to look like one of those sad ceramic clown masks from the 80’s. Or heck, let your locks air-dry. You can call your semi-curly mullet “beachy”. It’s totally the season for that. Ugh. It’s a hot mess. Literally.
2) Going to the gym at two in the afternoon is the best. No one is there. Except that one guy, with his button down shirt tucked into his jean shorts. He is looking at your butt. You can see him doing it. There are mirrors everywhere. Okay. Maybe it’s time to change machines. Definitely.
3) I would like to hang out with a Capybara. I imagine us dressing up in matching outfits, walking the streets and dancing to this song. My brain lives in these places. It can get kinda weird in there. […]
After a week of intense recipe failures one needs to bake cookies.
I think this is a rule. It feels like it should be a rule. Let’s call it a rule.
In between my lemon bar attempt and operation “OMG, is that supposed to be gnocchi!? “, I managed to get something right. I put some sunflower seeds into a food processor and made some nut butter. I combined it with almond butter. The two did a happy dance. I added in large chunks of dark chocolate, and decided that these cookies should be GIANTS. Instead of making a recipe that would yield a sensible dozen, I decided to instead make you six cookies. Big cookies. Forget about your kitchen failures cookies. Are you surprised that I didn’t just make one big cookie and take a fork to it? Yeah, me too. […]
Last week.
Don’t even get me started.
I came here on Friday to write you a post about my various kitchen mishaps. The post got too long. That’s right. It was that kind of week. I found myself on Facebook complaining and insisting we all have margaritas. Yeah, I wasn’t kidding…
These drinks are what happens when you manage to make lemon bars taste like scary scrambled eggs, spend hours making gluten-free gnocchi that ends up turning into doggie treats, and make yourself a green smoothie that tastes like wet salad. Yes, I did these things. It got real. Oh, boy. I have some scores to settle with a couple of recipes. They will be mine. Mark my words. […]
