Green Watermelon Cooler

If you come here and hang out with me often, you will know that when it comes to watermelon I find myself a bit powerless. The weather starts to heat up, and I can’t seem to help myself. It usually starts with just cutting myself a slice. Wow! That’s so refreshing! Then I decide to cut another slice. Magic! Pure, magic! Sooner or later I find myself alone, with sweet, sticky hands. I have pink juice running down my chin and I have a slosh-y affliction in my gut that can only be described as “Watermelon Belly”. Those of you watermelon fiends know what I’m talking about. Things happen to your body when you decide to take on an entire watermelon. So far this season, I have learned this lesson exactly twice. I might even (definitely will) learn it again. […]

Kale, Apple & Ginger Juice

You know it’s spring when…

You wake drowsily at 9:00am because you were forced to take a powerful antihistamine the night before. You took this antihistamine because of all of the mosquito bites that you have managed to acquire. They itch. You have a particularly gnarly one on your stomach, which proves curious since you don’t remember wearing anything resembling a crop-top. You’ve been spending a lot of time outside. Even at night. This is where all of those rosy mosquito bites came from.  It’s been sunshine on sunshine on sunshine. You’ve been sporting a tank top and frolicking in the outdoors despite your allergies. Your eyes are swelling slightly? You can’t breathe? We should probably go inside…BUT IT’S JUST SO GOSH DARN SUNNY! Your body craves this wicked vitamin D festival, so you ignore your allergies, eat some local honey, inhale some prescription nose spray and get real about eye-drops. You start scoping out and trying to guesstimate how much of your backyard your next door neighbors can see through their kitchen window. Obviously this is because you would like to read a good book while wearing your birthday suit. You surmise the neighbors can see way too much. You also surmise that they’ve already seen way too much. Why did you not check this out before you decided to go out into the yard in your underpants (MULTIPLE times)? Not sure. Oh well. You find yourself out at farmer’s markets. You find yourself paying $7.50 for a green juice. You know this is expensive, but you can’t help it. It looks so good. You suck down $7.50 worth of fruits and veggies in a flash. You try to be mad about the price, but you can’t because it tastes too good, although once it is gone you find yourself tinged with a bit of regret. You have an awesome juicer. You could have made three green juices at that price. Sheesh. Also, you should put sunscreen on your husband’s neck, it’s about to burn. This is our real life. […]

Dandelion Green Juice

Hello, Spring. You snuck up on me. I think I blinked and you showed up with your blue skies and your green hills and your different shades of wildflowers. I am totally not complaining. Look at the glorious view from our hike this weekend. It feels nice to have sunshine on my pale and wintered shoulders. Thank you for the tan lines. I can now pass as someone who spends time outside. I no longer look like that kid from The Secret Garden who was not allowed to leave his room. Cheers. You’re a good friend. […]

Lime And Coconut Green Smoothie

 It’s been cold and damp outside  for a long time now.

Our backyard is in a perpetual state of wetness. The earth is cold and crumbly. The rain stopped a while back, but the mud just hasn’t recovered.

I’m painfully aware of the state of my backyard because I have a puppy and a white carpet.

Perhaps it was after this morning’s shenanigans where my muddy dog came tearing past me into the house, running laps and dodging my attempted side tackles, leaving a trail of her dirty feet like a horrifying dance-step diagram, that I really started longing for warmer and drier days.  She is currently on time out. She seems pleased with herself as usual.

It was at 8:30 this morning, on my hands and knees, cleaning up a trail of muddy paw prints, I started fantasizing about luxuriating out in the sunshine and sipping on mojitos and  piña coladas. […]