It’s been three weeks since my oven broke. It’s still broken. There’s this whole commotion about a broken computer piece and if they make the replacements for my particular oven model anymore. It’s resulted in a very confused elderly land lady, and a slightly frustrated food blogging tenant (that’s me).
It’s not like I can’t cook ANYTHING. I have a working stove top, a couple of crock pots, a pressure cooker, a deep fryer, and a dehydrator. But, since I know my oven is broken it only makes me want to use it more. Go figure, right? I’ve found myself lamenting over whole roasted chicken with crispy chicken skin, crispy Brussels sprouts, cookies and scones. I feel slightly incapacitated. How can the girl who makes food for a living not have a functioning oven? I was trying to make analogies and all I could come up with was it feels like I am a concert pianist with lobster claws instead of hands. This metaphor might lean towards the dramatic. Continue reading →
Quick! Before winter decides to scoot off and make way for spring, let’s enjoy some seriously comforting crock-pot action. Let’s throw some short ribs into a crock-pot and cook them until they are wobbly and tender. This is what winters are made for. Well, this and central heating, fireplaces, practical yet unattractive footwear, fleece, and big puffy marshmallow coats. It’s also for sunny brisk walks and trying to steal oranges from your neighbor’s yard. How many pieces of citrus do you think I could conceal under a big puffy marshmallow coat? Shhhh… Continue reading →
If I told you that you could make this entire meal and only dirty a single skillet, would you try to make-out with my face? Because, that’s totally going on. It’s another one-skillet wonder. So much better than a one hit wonder, right? Or… a one trick pony. Although, I sincerely wonder what the original One Trick Pony’s trick was. I imagine a pony wearing a tutu and singing songs from Les Mis while juggling. But, it probably wasn’t that cool since technically my imagination already puts that pony at THREE tricks. Don’t be a three trick pony isn’t a saying. Continue reading →
Like, sincerely broken. Not in that “the dog ate my homework”, excuse-y kind of way. I’m not blaming the oven for almost setting my cookies on fire yesterday, even though it was programmed to bake at 350 degrees. Except, that’s exactly what I’m doing — because, instead of heating up to a sensible cookie-baking temp, it heated up to approximately five billion degrees. Parchment paper turned to ash. Macadamia nuts and dark chocolate morphed together into hardened lumps of expensive coal. This all happened within three minutes.
I went to turn the oven off, and it said “This function is not in use“… Uh… Okay. So, I’ll just live like this now. I’ll get used to existing in a home with burnt cookies and a blazing oven inferno — spouting hell fire and destroying dreams. For a moment I imagined us dragging blankets into the kitchen and camping out in front of our new perma-hot stove heater for the rest of the winter. It’s the more expensive version of one of those garbage can fires you see in hobo movies. I tried to turn it off again. It shut down this time. Just for kicks I tried to turn it back on and it gave me an error message. To anyone who’s experienced this you will understand when I say my oven was giving me a glaring, steaming, cookie-charring middle finger.
It’s post-New Year’s. My Christmas tree is gone (although I keep finding needles in weird places–how did that get in my bra?!), the ornaments are packed away, and the lights are down. But, I’m still experiencing a major holiday hangover. After holiday travel, the flu, a Lyme flare, and a couple of stress-inspired poor eating decisions (I’m looking at YOU entire gluten-free pizza with enough cheese to choke a horse), my body is BEGGING me to get back on track. So, I’m listening to my body’s plea and responding with my favorite detoxing green juice, salad, soup, and lots of episodes of Friends on Netflix. It does a body good. Continue reading →