In an effort to make fall arrive here in California, I’ve been consuming pie as if it were some sort of fork to face rain-dance.
Really, it’s just something I’m trying out for the greater good. I will eat pie for breakfast in the name of chunky sweaters, and tall boots, and the California drought. I’ll happily open my pie hole for dessert, in the hopes of bringing a changing of the leaves, crisp fall air, hot toddies, and the right to stop sweating. Please, someone… anyone… turn off my armpit glands. I know this isn’t “healthy” to do, but since it’s divine intervention I’m asking for, I figure you can find a way to divinely redesign this girl’s pits so they’re no longer weeping under the weight of pie baking in summer temperatures. Speaking of my armpits– did you all catch episode seven of The So…Let’s Hang Out Podcast? It’s a doozy.
Okay, I’ll stop talking about armpits now. It’s not very seasonal, and it’s slightly rude to do on a food blog. You came here for pie, not the deets on my pits. It’s kind of like sitting down to dinner with your family and then proceeding to armpit fart. Although, that might be hilarious, it’s not classical table manners. So, my apologies. Instead, let’s just look at that glossy little squash pie. Hello, pretty. In the words of Salt n’ Pepa “You’re so crazy, I think I wanna have your baby“. Yes, that was directed to the pie. I don’t know exactly how it would work, or if we’d be accepted by society… but, it’s really good pie. So, I might be willing to take chances.
Can we just talk about kabocha squash for a minute? I’d like to write it a sonnet. Shall I compare thee to a brisk fall day? Thou art more lovely and more smelling of pumpkin spice. This is where good ol’ Willie Shakes rolls over in his grave in order to roll his eyes and sigh loudly. So, maybe a no-go on the sonnet. But seriously, this might be my squash of choice. Like, if we were in college, and got drunk together, I could see us getting matching tattoos that simply say “You’re My NUMBA ONE” in a location that is both tramp-y and stamp-y. Side note: Where is that location on a squash? It’s hard to pin point since they don’t wear low rise jeans. I fell in love with the sweetness of this squash last year. I kinda wanna say it’s the new pumpkin. Like, let’s just make everything with kabocha. I know it’s a little wild, but so are we. Let’s live dangerously. Kabocha Spice Latte, anyone? I bet you it would blow the lid off of your PSL/extra hot/with skim milk, because gross. Drink your seasonal drinks. I’m not going to salt your game. But, please, for the love of all that is autumnal, MAKE THIS PIE AND ALLOW KABOCHA INTO YOUR LIFE AND YOUR HEART. I’m serious, because all caps.
The grain-free crust of this thing is buttery and flaky and the perfect little home for the sweet and spicy kabocha filling. The coconut whipped cream is sweetened with maple syrup and must be spooned over this pie liberally in order to achieve the proper level of arousal that this pie is sure to induce. I’m sorry I said arousal. If it makes you feel better I also toyed around with sentences that included words like “orgasm” and “climax”. So, you’re welcome. But, really, I’m still sorry. #YoureWelcomeButSorryImActuallySorry is kinda like the new #SorryNotSorry. It’s not. But, as long as we’re talking about things you can be #SorryNotSorry for–let’s add baking this pie, and then eating it all in a period of 48 hours alone. Or, you know… with friends. Whatever, it’s not important. Don’t make eye contact with me.
Please join me in the effort to force California into fall by eating an aggressive amount of pie. Pie rain-dance. It’s not working yet. But, I have a feeling that if we eat enough of it, it might just happen. Forks up, friends. Forks, up.
- 1 kabocha squash
- 2 1/4 cup blanched almond flour
- 1/4 cup arrowroot starch
- 1 egg
- 3 Tbsp. grass fed butter
- 1/4 tsp sea salt
- 1 1/2 cups kabocha squash puree (If you can't locate kabocha, or don't want to make your own puree from scratch, you can sub in pumpkin puree)
- 1 cup full fat coconut milk
- 2 eggs
- 3/4 cups coconut sugar
- 2 tsp. ground ginger
- 1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
- 1 tsp. cinnamon
- 1/4 tsp.cloves
- 1/4 tsp. sea salt
- 1 tsp.gluten-free vanilla extract
- 1 can of chilled coconut cream
- 2 Tbsp. maple syrup
- Pinch of cinnamon
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Poke a couple of holes in your whole kabocha squash with a knife. Place the squash into a roasting pan, and roast whole for an hour, or until it is easily punctured with a knife, and soft inside.
- Cut open your cooked squash. Allow it to cool enough to handle. Once it has cooled down a bit, use a spoon to scoop the seeds away from the soft meat of the squash. Either discard, or save to roast like you would pumpkin seeds.
- Scoop the soft meat out of the squash into a food processor. Process on high until a smooth puree forms. This will more than likely make more puree than you will need for this recipe. Set aside.
- In a clean food processor, combine all of the ingredients for your crust. Pulse together until a ball of dough forms.
- Remove the dough ball from the food processor, and using clean hands, press it into a 9 inch pie dish. Try to make the crust as even as possible in thickness.Set aside.
- Clean out your food processor once again in order to make the filling. Once it's clean and dry, place 1/12 cups of your fresh puree as well as all of the other filling ingredients inside of the food processor. Process on high until everything comes together into a smooth pie filling.
- Pour the filling into the unbaked pie crust. Place the pie pan on a baking sheet before putting it in the oven, just in case any of the filling bubbles over. It will make clean-up easier.
- Place the baking sheet holding your filled pie pan into the 350 degree oven, and allow it to bake for 45-60 minutes. Or, until the pie is set, but the center is still slightly jiggly. It will set up more as it cools.
- Remove from the oven and allow it to cool to room temperature. Once it is cool enough, place it in the refrigerator for several hours, or up to overnight.
- When you're ready to serve your pie, make up a batch of the maple coconut cream. Combine a chilled can of coconut cream (this should be solid, since it's been chilled) with the maple syrup in a mixing bowl. Use a hand mixer to beat together something that resembles whipped cream.
- Spoon this mixture into the middle of the chilled pie, and spread out evenly. Top with a pinch of cinnamon. Cut up and serve. Cover and refrigerator any extras. Eat within the next couple of days...if it lasts that long. Enjoy!