Chocolate & Honey Avocado Shake

I am going to be up front with you…
Every time I see someone post a picture of a green smoothie that contains avocado, I squirm. Avocados are for guacamole. You put them on top of your toast and sprinkle it with sea salt. You can totally sub them in for mayonnaise and make a Green Egg Salad. But, smoothies? Really? Is it a guacamole smoothie? I’m not sold. Why is this happening? I just can’t hang. I’ve been mistrusting of any and all humans that have muttered the words “avocado pudding” or claimed to make a great “vegan avocado brownie”. Shudder.
Like most of my food aversions, I decided to just dive right in. Challenge accepted. Guacamole smoothie, I’m coming for you.
My first avocado smoothie was horrifying. No joke. It was pretty much all veggies with half of a frozen banana. It tasted bitter. I spat it out. I felt sad. This smoothie was supposed to prove me wrong. It was supposed to be life-changing and wonderful and simply everything. Perhaps I put too much pressure there? Probably. No matter. As I spat out the evil green goo I had foolishly concocted in my Vitamix and watched it slink down the drain, it started a fire inside of me. A metaphorical fire. A smoothie-revenge-fire. An I-will-totally-win-you-fire. Avocado smoothie, you will be mine. MUAHAHAHAHA! (Dastardly avocado whispering evil laugh) […]

How To Make Coconut Butter

So, butter.

We have a history.

This weekend I was hanging out with my family, and these words were inevitably spoken to me:

“Hey, Gina! Remember how you used to sneak into the fridge and leave finger prints in the butter container?”

Yes. Yes I do. It went something like this…

I would wait until no one was in my grandparent’s kitchen. I would sneak over to the fridge and pray that the large tub of Country Crock was within my stubby-four-year-old-arm’s reach. If it was, I would sneakily remove it from its place in the fridge and bring it over to the kitchen table. Silently, I would remove the top off of the tub of butter. Eureka! I would dip my fat little fingers inside of the container and eat the butter off my hands. Carefully, I would put the top back on the container and make sure to place it back where I found it in the refrigerator. My four-year old self did not understand that I had left substantial evidence of my shenanigans behind. There were little finger divots and prints left in the butter tub. I was the only four-year-old that frequented that house. I was caught red-handed. Several times. I will also NEVER live this down. […]

Avocado Egg Salad | Please Don’t Pinch Me

I am not great at St. Patty’s Day.
When I was a kid, I was almost always the gal who forgot to throw on something green on St. Patrick’s Day. When I arrived at school there would usually be an enthusiastic red-head waiting in the wings to pinch me silly. You know this kid.  There was one at every school.  My defense in this matter was to lie and say that I was totally wearing green underwear or to quickly craft something green and attach it to my person. I once wore a paper chain around my neck that I crudely colored in with a green crayon. Times were tough. It was a matter of survival. Pinching hurts. Green paper-chain jewelry can help. […]