Kale, Apple & Ginger Juice

Kale, Apple & Ginger Juice | So... Let's Hang Out

You know it’s spring when…

You wake drowsily at 9:00am because you were forced to take a powerful antihistamine the night before. You took this antihistamine because of all of the mosquito bites that you have managed to acquire. They itch. You have a particularly gnarly one on your stomach, which proves curious since you don’t remember wearing anything resembling a crop-top. You’ve been spending a lot of time outside. Even at night. This is where all of those rosy mosquito bites came from.  It’s been sunshine on sunshine on sunshine. You’ve been sporting a tank top and frolicking in the outdoors despite your allergies. Your eyes are swelling slightly? You can’t breathe? We should probably go inside…BUT IT’S JUST SO GOSH DARN SUNNY! Your body craves this wicked vitamin D festival, so you ignore your allergies, eat some local honey, inhale some prescription nose spray and get real about eye-drops. You start scoping out and trying to guesstimate how much of your backyard your next door neighbors can see through their kitchen window. Obviously this is because you would like to read a good book while wearing your birthday suit. You surmise the neighbors can see way too much. You also surmise that they’ve already seen way too much. Why did you not check this out before you decided to go out into the yard in your underpants (MULTIPLE times)? Not sure. Oh well. You find yourself out at farmer’s markets. You find yourself paying $7.50 for a green juice. You know this is expensive, but you can’t help it. It looks so good. You suck down $7.50 worth of fruits and veggies in a flash. You try to be mad about the price, but you can’t because it tastes too good, although once it is gone you find yourself tinged with a bit of regret. You have an awesome juicer. You could have made three green juices at that price. Sheesh. Also, you should put sunscreen on your husband’s neck, it’s about to burn. This is our real life. Continue reading

Carrot, Apple & Ginger Juice

Carrot, Apple & Ginger Juice | So... Let's Hang Out

It’s juice time again.

I like ‘em real thick and juicy.

That actually does not pertain to how I feel about my juice, I have just been listening to a lot of 90’s music lately. Like…a lot. Like…I might have spent over an hour looking up music videos from the 90’s on YouTube last Friday. No big deal. Subsequently, I have had the song Baby Got Back stuck in my head for days. This only becomes awkward when you start singing it subconsciously in the checkout line at the grocery store. The woman in front of you turns around after you get to the “L.A. face with a Oakland Booty” part of the tune. You make eye contact. You stop singing. You think about winking at her but realize that just perpetuates the weirdness. Don’t make it weirder. It’s too late, you already winked. She probably thinks you’re hitting on her. Oh man, you can’t recover from this one.  Not. At. All. You could try to explain that you have just been listening to a whole lot of 90’s music lately, and you were not singing the song directly to her. You could try to explain that you sometimes just wink in awkward situations, or you could lie and say you had something in your eye. The explanation of your behavior will only make things weirder. You grab your groceries and pretend like you forgot something in the produce section. You wait until this person leaves and find another check out line. Whew. Yikes. Get out of there. Continue reading

Killer Cabbage Juice | Juice Of The Week

killercabbage-7425blog

I got ballsy.

I juiced a cabbage.

If you had told me last year that I would be juicing pretty much anything and everything, I would have told you to back off and stop making weird predictions. Also, out of all the things you could predict with your psychic gift, you should give me something juicier than becoming a juicer. Maybe tell me that I am coming into a fortune, or that I will have really great hair for all of 2013. Tell me that my dog will be perfectly trained and stop trying to gorge herself on the cat-box  Tell me that Pajama Jeans are now finally in fashion for reals and I should really just woman-up and buy them. I would welcome any of these predictions. Continue reading

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...