Lemon & Chamomile Paleo Muffins {Gluten Free}

Important things I did yesterday instead of writing:

I Google image searched “Dogs wearing overalls” which then lead me to image search “Dogs in business suits” which then lead me to search “Where can I buy my dog a business suit?” and “Business suit for dogs distributor.” There is more. Let’s just say I went down the rabbit hole.

After this, I did a fair amount of internet research on tater tots. Sunday afternoon was spent brunching with friends. Tater tots happened in a big way. I want to make them. I can’t stop thinking about them. My brain and my heart are filled with images of these crunchy, school-time favorites. You want some now, don’t you? I am going to do my best to make this happen. I asked Siri earnestly “Why are tater-tots so delicious?” to which she replied “Calling Jim.”  Siri fail. The most concerning part being, I don’t know a Jim. […]

Avocado Egg Salad | Please Don’t Pinch Me

I am not great at St. Patty’s Day.
When I was a kid, I was almost always the gal who forgot to throw on something green on St. Patrick’s Day. When I arrived at school there would usually be an enthusiastic red-head waiting in the wings to pinch me silly. You know this kid.  There was one at every school.  My defense in this matter was to lie and say that I was totally wearing green underwear or to quickly craft something green and attach it to my person. I once wore a paper chain around my neck that I crudely colored in with a green crayon. Times were tough. It was a matter of survival. Pinching hurts. Green paper-chain jewelry can help. […]

Roasted Cauliflower Salad With Olives And Capers

Look-y here. I’ve managed to make you something that isn’t breakfast. I’ve apparently been on one serious breakfast-y kick. I’ve been turning out waffles, quiche, and smoothies galore. I point out the fact I’m bringing you something non-breakfast since I am pretty sure tomorrow (or at least soon) I am posting something breakfast-y. Sorry (not really).
So…yesterday got weird. Mostly because I’m me and can’t seem to stay off the internet no matter how terrifying it can be. I had a weird tingle in my leg, which I promptly Googled (bad move). Don’t do this, friends. Don’t Google every twinge or tingle or pain that happens in your body just because you can. I’ve been telling myself this for years, but I can’t seem to take my own advice. When you Google a symptom, no matter what your symptom is, it usually leads to “OMG, I AM DYING!!!” Since I was experiencing a weird leg tingle, the sage and soothing advice of the interweb made me believe that I was probably, most likely, right in the middle of a stroke. Things got dramatic. I started pacing back and forth, thinking “OMG. I am having a stroke. This is not good. This is extremely bad.” The dog looked at me suspiciously and without major concern. Aren’t dogs supposed to be sympathetic? Geez. […]

Carrot, Apple & Ginger Juice

It’s juice time again.

I like ’em real thick and juicy.

That actually does not pertain to how I feel about my juice, I have just been listening to a lot of 90’s music lately. Like…a lot. Like…I might have spent over an hour looking up music videos from the 90’s on YouTube last Friday. No big deal. Subsequently, I have had the song Baby Got Back stuck in my head for days. This only becomes awkward when you start singing it subconsciously in the checkout line at the grocery store. The woman in front of you turns around after you get to the “L.A. face with a Oakland Booty” part of the tune. You make eye contact. You stop singing. You think about winking at her but realize that just perpetuates the weirdness. Don’t make it weirder. It’s too late, you already winked. She probably thinks you’re hitting on her. Oh man, you can’t recover from this one.  Not. At. All. You could try to explain that you have just been listening to a whole lot of 90’s music lately, and you were not singing the song directly to her. You could try to explain that you sometimes just wink in awkward situations, or you could lie and say you had something in your eye. The explanation of your behavior will only make things weirder. You grab your groceries and pretend like you forgot something in the produce section. You wait until this person leaves and find another check out line. Whew. Yikes. Get out of there. […]