Spicy Sriracha & Honey Drumsticks

It’s HOT. Summer has arrived.
Who’s sweating? Raise your hands…
If you’re in California, I bet your hand is up. Unless you are one of those crazy bears that claims they don’t sweat. You know the type. That girl who wears make-up to the gym. You look at her and think “Jeez. Big mistake. After this kickboxing class she is going to look like a clown.” You almost feel sorry for her. The thing is, she is one of those non-sweating unicorns. The intense workout only makes her more glow-y and sparkly. You on the other hand (me) are sweating so heavily that it looks like you have just gone on a deep sea adventure. Your cheeks are red, your upper lip is moist, you try to put on your sunglasses, but they fog up from your general swampy-ness.  Moist. No one likes that word. Also, no one likes to be moist. Especially on their upper lip. Ugh. What? Why do I say these things. Gag. I don’t know if I can make that sentence sound better. Help.
Isn’t there some stupid saying out there claiming that “Women don’t sweat, they glisten.” FALSE. Unless you are that glow-y unicorn girl. Then you glisten. You are beautiful. I am jealous of the way your bangs aren’t turning curly in this heat. Stop it. […]

Raspberry & Honey Goat Cheese Tartlets {Gluten Free & Primal Friendly}

My husband plays a lot of video games.
He is probably proof reading this right now (Hi, Honey!) and wondering where this is going to go…
Am I going to tell everyone about the time I came home from that work function to find him on a headset, shouting loud and purposefully “DOES ANYONE NEED A JETPACK?! I HAVE JETPACKS!!” ? Nope Yes.
It turns out that in video games most things are easier when you have a jetpack. This is a solid lesson. I think this lesson carries over into real life.  I have high ceilings, and a jetpack would be super useful to help me clean the sky lights. I would also be able to reach things out of the tall-people cabinets without having to stand in my sink. Practical Applications For Everyday Jetpack Use. Do I smell a book deal? No — I don’t. Unless you do. I could write the heck out of that book.
To be fair, my husband makes his grown-up living working in the video game industry. He is lucky enough to really enjoy what he does. Sometimes he enjoys it so much he will put in a few hours on a Saturday. It’s totally recreational on weekends, but when I decide to sigh loudly or roll my eyes, he likes to remind me that video games pay the bills around these parts. This usually just makes me sigh louder or elicits a bigger eye roll. I’m fun. […]

Easy Beef Kebabs With Tangy Rosemary Chimichurri {Gluten-Free & Paleo}

I’ve been slowly but surely learning some lessons in the past couple of weeks. Shall we discuss?
1) If  you happen to be jogging and someone pulls to the side of the road, rolls down their window, and extends their arm out towards you to hand you some sort of piece of paper, don’t stop. Keep jogging. Maybe you thought this piece of paper was just some sort of pamphlet. You have been getting a lot of Jehovah’s Witness pamphlets lately from the nice people that like to knock on your door early in the morning when you aren’t wearing pants. What’s another one, right? Wrong. This is not a godly pamphlet. This is a crudely written note stating “Please you call me.” Elaborate, right? Is he driving around with a stack of these things? Well, more elaborate would be the stick figure drawing off to the right of his written plea. Although the arms and the legs are stick-ly, he has managed to tack on what I can only describe as a shocking portrayal of genitalia. Jog. Jog faster.
2) If someone knocks on your door and you are not wearing pants, it’s usually a Jehovah’s Witness. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with them. Everyone has freedom to their own beliefs. The problem I have is how often they seem to knock on my door when I am pants-less. Don’t open the door when you aren’t wearing pants, even if you think you can just peek your head through and cover your body with the main part of the door. You have a crazy Golden Retriever. She will try to get outside. You will be on your door step with a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses, pants-less, trying to wrangle your dog. This is uncomfortable for everyone. Also, can we discuss how every single one of the pamphlets I receive has some version of kids smiling while eating a bounty of fruits and veggies, along with some sort of moose or other woodland creature. I’m confused. Probably as confused as the poor JWs were because I wasn’t wearing pants at 2:00pm on a Tuesday. […]

Leek and Asparagus Quiche With Almond Meal Crust

What have I always said is the most important thing?
Wait… did you say bears? You probably said bears. Nope. It’s breakfast (tied with bears). So, maybe I really miss Arrested Development already. Did you have a chance to watch the entire fourth season? We knocked that out in a couple of days. Now I want more and immediately would be best. 
We totally don’t have more episodes, but we DO have a recipe for breakfast. Important. I wish we had a recipe for brunch with bears. I could totally share my eggs with a couple of Grizzlies. I guess this is called “camping”, and the bears are usually discourteous party-crashers that would love to snack on your femurs with club sauce. Real. This daydream just got 100% more terrifying. Moving on… […]