Tipsy Blueberry Banana Bread {Gluten-Free & Paleo}

Nothing says “your four day weekend is officially over!” like waking up at 3:30am to the sound of your cat vomiting onto your bed sheets. It got way too real way too quickly this morning.
I mean, I know that not everyday can be farmer’s markets, painting the entire living room while listening to old Beck albums, beautiful Golden Gate Bridge views, fro-yo in the sun, grilling in the afternoon, marathon-ing Netflix, too many potato chips, drinking whiskey in your underpants because it’s so dang hot and summery kind of a day. I know. I get it. Without the routine of real life those four day weekends of glorious nothingness and everything-ness would not seem special. But… I still feel waking up to the sound of your cat retching suspiciously close to your ankles is not ideal. However, when this unfortunate event does happen, I will give you a pro-tip. Sure, you might be the first person to wake up at the cat’s heaving. Maybe your husband or partner is still snoring and fast asleep next to you. You can totally nudge them until they wake up and then pretend that YOU are sleeping. They will hear the terrible noises and rush to clean things up. Not that I have ever done this (I have). That is so rude (but totally effective). Being married is awesome.
You know what else is awesome? This slightly drunken loaf of blueberry banana heaven! Did you like that flawless segue? Naturally. Okay, so I might have baked this loaf of bread while it was close to 100 degrees outside. This is because 1) I am obviously slightly insane  and 2) My husband gets really angry when I don’t use the old bananas that I let rot into mush on the counter. These bananas are laying there browning and mushing because I always claim I’m going to make banana bread. Do you guys do that too? Pete has little tolerance for it anymore. I kind of get it. We have been doing this relationship thing for ten years. Those ten years have seen lots of rotting bananas that have NOT made their way into banana breads. It pets his peeve. Is that a thing? Do I have to say pet peeve together? I don’t think I like the sound of petting someones peeve. Perhaps that is my pet peeve. Full circle. […]

The Heatwave | A Whiskey Cocktail

You guys!
It’s Tuesday and it’s totally almost a long four day weekend! It’s almost Fourth of July, people. Or in grown-up world “America is cool, but it’s even cooler that I can BBQ these ribs in my underwear while enjoying the sweet freedom of a whiskey cocktail on a Thursday” Day. God Bless America.
Pete and I have been gearing up by trying to find the perfect summery cocktail combo. It’s hard work, but someone has to do it.  Let us do that heavy lifting for you. We’ve come up with something pretty great. Muddled raspberries mixed with lime, ginger beer and whiskey. Summery magic? Yes indeed.
We sat around sipping guzzling our creation trying to come up with a name. Since we were both sweating semi-profusely, draping our bodies carefully in juxtaposition to an AC vent,we decided to call it The Heatwave. It’s hot. I know, I’ve mentioned this. But, really. Complain, complain. We need cocktails. […]

Donut Peach Green Juice

Don’t get too excited. I didn’t juice a donut (not that I’ve never considered it).
Instead, we’re juicing the glorious donut peach. That’s right. No, it’s not filled with jelly or fried to perfection. It is simply a sweet little variety of white peach that looks like it has been smushed into the shape of a donut. They are also called Saturn peaches. Perhaps it’s because they are simply outta this world… amirite? See what I did there? Of course you did. Oh, what’s that? We’re ignoring that joke and just moving on because you’re doing me the solid courtesy of letting it slide? Gosh, I appreciate you. For reals.
Perhaps it’s one of those days where we should get right to the recipe. The next joke I have in my brain involves a rocket ship. Don’t ask. Really. It’s Thursday. Officially the day in the week where my brain turns to cheese and puns fall out of my mouth with no regard for their quality. I’ve officially pulled the third rotting banana this week out of my handbag, and I’m eating cold meatballs for breakfast. Jealous? Don’t even get me started on my outfit. It’s like MC Hammer meets laundry day meets covered in dog hair. Can’t touch this. *Insert uncomfortable pelvic thrust dance moves here* […]

Raspberry & Honey Goat Cheese Tartlets {Gluten Free & Primal Friendly}

My husband plays a lot of video games.
He is probably proof reading this right now (Hi, Honey!) and wondering where this is going to go…
Am I going to tell everyone about the time I came home from that work function to find him on a headset, shouting loud and purposefully “DOES ANYONE NEED A JETPACK?! I HAVE JETPACKS!!” ? Nope Yes.
It turns out that in video games most things are easier when you have a jetpack. This is a solid lesson. I think this lesson carries over into real life.  I have high ceilings, and a jetpack would be super useful to help me clean the sky lights. I would also be able to reach things out of the tall-people cabinets without having to stand in my sink. Practical Applications For Everyday Jetpack Use. Do I smell a book deal? No — I don’t. Unless you do. I could write the heck out of that book.
To be fair, my husband makes his grown-up living working in the video game industry. He is lucky enough to really enjoy what he does. Sometimes he enjoys it so much he will put in a few hours on a Saturday. It’s totally recreational on weekends, but when I decide to sigh loudly or roll my eyes, he likes to remind me that video games pay the bills around these parts. This usually just makes me sigh louder or elicits a bigger eye roll. I’m fun. […]