Fig & Dark Chocolate Scones {Gluten Free & Paleo}

For most of my life, I thought Figs were a mythical kind of fruit. You know, like the fruit equivalent to a Pegasus or a Griffin.
To be fair, I never actually saw a whole fig in the flesh until my adult life. I had two fig references in my wheelhouse:
1) Fig Newtons: A delightful snacking cookie. I thought the person who made these cookies was named Mr. Fig Newton. I once asked my Grandfather what the filling was inside these cookies, to which he replied “something prunes.” As you can imagine, this threw me off the scent. As far as I was concerned Mr. Fig Newton was sitting in his house baking cookies filled with “something prunes.” I asked no questions.
2) Christmas Caroling: You know those lyrics in We Wish You A Merry Christmas? There is a whole verse where we demand something called “figgy pudding.” In my mind this sounded totally gross, and I didn’t ask questions. I assumed this so-called pudding was probably mushy, stinky, and something from tales of yore. I had visions of people clad in bonnets and bodices scooping chunks of wobbly pudding out into the hands of Christmas carolers. Whatever this stuff was, it was for sure old timey, as I’d never heard of it in my modern world. What ancient sorcery was this?  I don’t know. Maybe it was “something prunes.” Probably “something prunes.” […]

Pump Up The Beet Juice | A Juicing Recipe

Pump up those beets, pump them UP… while your feet are stompin’, and the beets are pumpin’. Look at here the crowd is jumpin’!!

It’s normal to change Technotronic lyrics to match your green juice recipes, right? Cool. I thought so. Can we remake this video too? Maybe the flashy background could be a bunch of psychedelic beets and we could wear hammer pants that are covered in veggies?  Let’s keep all of their dance moves though. That choreography is solid. Bless the 90’s. They were good.

Did I lose some of you? Probably. Just watch the video. It will get your Wednesday movin’.  Dare I say it might even pump it up? I said it. Can’t take it back now.

So, this morning I realized out of all of the juicing we have done here, we have never juiced beets together. What?! How is this possible? I love beet juice. We’ve made juice that tasted like a mojito. We’ve definitely juiced carrots. We’ve even juiced a watermelon. We’ve taken beets and blended them into one of the best smoothies of my life. Seriously, that smoothie is something special. I’ve even taken beets and made chocolate cake out of them. Whoa.  Yet, I haven’t shared with you my go to beet juice recipe. This just seems wrong. Let’s fist pump and right this wrong together. I’ve got that Technotronic song in my brain so hard that my top half is typing these words to you, but my bottom half is dancing. Pump it up!! Can’t control myself.

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Easy Refrigerator Dill Pickles

Eleven years ago you could find me at a college theater party sharing a peach-flavored Arbor Mist with one of my best friends. Yes, directly out of the bottle. You might ask, what is the difference between a normal college party and a “college theater party”? Good question. I would have to say that since the people in attendance are theater students, can most likely cry on command, and have a flare for the dramatic, things can get intense. Also, there are usually two to five dudes that have ponytails (or if you’re lucky, a rat-tail)  un-ironically. Someone is drunkenly doing a monologue on the patio. Almost always someone is either wearing suspenders or a raccoon tail that is pinned onto the back of their pants. It’s a scene. I was there. It was confusing.

Ten years ago you could find me sobbing uncontrollably on the couch of my single-lady apartment. I was watching the last episode of Sex in the City and unashamedly splitting a whole rotisserie chicken with my cat. I wish I could say this is the only time that happened, but I would be lying to you. When you’re nineteen years old and live alone and have a lot of feelings, sometimes you just need someone to help you binge eat a whole chicken. You don’t discriminate if that someone has a lot of grey fur and two sets of paws. […]

Cherry Tomato & Goat Cheese Galette {Gluten-Free}

I know, I know. Here I go about tomatoes again. But, OMG…

You guys. I totally didn’t kill my tomatoes this year.

This is BIG news. As someone who is enthusiastic about growing things, it can be slightly disheartening when I kill my succulents. Correct. I have killed various cacti in my gardening career. Don’t even get me started with my various vegetable growing flops. It’s a sad scene.

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