It’s a sweaty August afternoon. And, yeah. You guessed it. I’m sweating.
I’m sitting here writing to you with an aggressive amount of coconut oil in my hair, dishes in my sink, and wearing last night’s pajamas. I really overshot things in the attempt to give my recently colored hair a much needed coconut oil moisture mask. Like, I can feel oil dripping down the sides of my face, and maybe down my back. I’ve tucked paper towels into the front of my sports bra in order to make a bib to catch the drippings. This is real life, my friends. This is real life. At any moment I could be mauled with an enthusiastic Golden Retriever tongue bath. Emma likes coconut oil a lot… so, I’m trying to type quietly as not to wake her from her power nap. My hair could become her afternoon snack. So, shhhhh. She’s dreaming little doggy dreams, her legs moving wildly trying to chase things. I wonder if she smells the oil. I wonder if she’s chasing me. Yikes!
You’re probably reading that first paragraph thinking, “Wow, if there was some sort of prestigious award for being really cool, we’d give it to her”. Or, whatever the opposite of that is. Because, being pajama-clad at 4pm with the world’s supply of coconut oil dripping from my head makes me a contender for the “Maybe Reconsider Your Life Choices Award”. If this is a real award, please feel free to nominate me. I won’t be sad. I’ll just be happy to be considered. If there is a “Might Be Allergic To Eggs But Doesn’t Know” award, I could possibly be entered for that one too. That’s right y’all, I haven’t been eating a lot of eggs lately. Did you catch that seamless transition? Yeah, me neither.
So, what happens when the most breakfast-y of foods becomes off limits? There might be a moment of panic between you and every single place that serves brunch. But, be cool. There are ways to tackle this meal like a gosh darn champ. You see… they may take my eggs, but they will never take my bacon. That’s a famous quote right? Good. Bacon + Kale Sprouts + Apricots + Roasting Pan = EGGS WHO? Or, if it doesn’t spawn absolute ovo-amnesia, it will at least lessen the blow. Promise. Salty bacon with soft and sweet apricots, interrupted by the bitterness of the kale sprouts. Drool, you guys. Total drool.
I should point out you don’t even have to eat this for breakfast. It would make a stellar side dish, or lunch, or dinner. Even though the breakfast option is a stellar choice. I tend to just eat it straight from the baking sheet with a fork… but, as you can tell from the first paragraph, that’s because I’m a perfect lady.
The dog just woke up. And, the coconut oil is staring to drip down my arms. I think that’s where we end today. But, if I can encourage you to be cooler than me, and to make this sheet pan of food for your face– then, that’s what I’m trying to do. Encouragement! I hope you love this little egg-less ditty as much as I do!
Roasted Kale Sprouts, Apricots & Bacon
- 1 lb. kale sprouts
- 4 medium apricots, seeds removed and sliced
- 1 Tbs. coconut oil
- Salt + pepper, to taste
- 10 pieces of bacon, cooked until crispy then chopped
- Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.
- In a medium sized mixing bowl, add in your kale sprouts and coconut oil. Massage the coconut oil into the kale sprouts until they are well coated. Toss in your sliced up apricots and gently mix together. Add a sprinkle of salt and pepper to your liking.
- Pour the kale and apricot mixture onto your prepared baking sheet. Add the pieces of chopped up cooked bacon and distribute them throughout the mixture on the baking sheet. If your bacon is freshly cooked, you can also add it in at the end. But, if your bacon has cooled, I would highly recommend it go in the oven in order to crisp up and warm through.
- Place your baking sheet in the oven and bake for 10 minutes, or until the kale sprouts are a bit crispy and the fruit has softened.
- If you haven't added in your bacon, now is the time. Toss the bacon into the warm kale sprouts and hot fruit. Serve and enjoy!
1. These look ridiculously delicious.
2. When I was pregnant, I didn’t want to, nor could I eat, eggs. They just sounded sooooo gross, and that totally messed up my brunch game.
3. So did not being able to drink a mimosa.
4. I like the creativity here. Fairly positive I could eat Roasted Kale Sprouts, Apricots & Bacon for dinner. Because, well, yeah..
Thanks, Erin. I totally get the egg aversion thing. I’m not pregnant, but the smell sometimes gets to me. I can only imagine that once I am with child this nose of mine will get me into some serious trouble.
I’m riking this a rot. Also, I feel like coconut oil pooch saliva is probably the next new spa treatment, so you’re all good. Or should I say…golden? Meh-heh. Meh-heheheh. Hugs!