Pumpkin Spice Cashew Milk {Gluten-Free, Vegan & Paleo}

The last time I made you nut milk, I made a lot of really bad jokes. I can’t help myself. I’m the girl that still chuckles at the word “nuts”. Nice to meet you. If you add the word” milk” after the word “nut”, I cannot keep a straight face. I’ve tossed around a few other title ideas such as “nut juice” or “creme de nuts” or “sexy pumpkin’ nut juice”. Oh, Lawdy. This is not getting any better. It’s getting much, much worse.  I will try to contain myself this post, but really… I make you no promises. It’s already gone to a strange place. My writing brain has kind of gone off the rails this week. Need I direct you to this Killer Pumpkin Granola post where I used shoddy storytelling to personify Pumpkin Pie Spice and her elicit (yet tender) love affair with Pumpkin Puree? Spoiler alert— they end up getting married in a ceremony performed by their mutual friend, Oats. Weird. So weird. […]

Spiced Blueberry Cashew & Coconut Smoothie

You know how life is extremely unexpected?

Let me give you some examples.

Sometimes  you’re just trying to walk your dog. Maybe on this walk you see a shirtless stranger barreling towards you on their bicycle. He is smoking a cigarette. You can’t help but think how difficult it would be to smoke a cigarette WHILE biking the hills that surround this area. That is both cardiovascular-ly challenging and counter-intuitive. You also can’t help but wonder if he’s chilly. It’s sunny, but the wind is brisk. You yourself are in a jacket and pants. He is topless.  While you are pondering both his fashion and health decisions he yells out “Get off of the flapping sidewalk!” while narrowly missing your paws with his bike tires and puffing a thick of smoke in your face. Note: He totally didn’t say flapping. I’m just trying to keep this kid-friendly. This interaction is odd. Why do I have to get off the sidewalk? I am the one walking. I am the one wearing a top. Also, why are you yelling at me? Unexpected. […]

Cardamom & Honey Cashew Milk {Gluten Free, Vegan & Paleo Friendly}

I’ve started and stopped writing this post more times than I would like to admit.
This is because I’ve written these sentences several times over and over with the utmost sincerity, and I am starting to feel like Tobias Funke:
How does one milk nuts?
I just love the taste of creamy nut milk!
It might seem time consuming to make your nut milk by hand, but the payoff is worth it.
OH LORD, HELP ME.
Maybe I should just stop using the term nut milk and we’d be in way less trouble here. Let’s get more specific. Let’s call it cashew milk. Ah, there we go. That is so much better already. I can just feel this post taking a turn out of the gutter and straight to Classyville. Welcome. […]