Maple Roasted Red Kuri Squash With Lemon & Garlicky Greens {Gluten-Free, Paleo, Vegan}

Today is Halloween.

Unfortunately, I will not be serving up any kind of witch fingers with almond fingernails, or a jack’o’lantern that is vomiting  guacamole. Today there will be no graham cracker cookies that have been turned into bloody band-aids (yes, this is a real thing I saw on Pinterest), and nothing that feels like an eyeball in your mouth. Call me the Grinch of Halloween, or simply call me someone who doesn’t like to eat things that resemble blood, vomit or eyeballs. It’s a personal preference. I think my childhood self is disappointed in this whole paragraph. I used to be really big on the whole “peeled grapes feel like eyeballs in the dark” thing. I guess I’ve gone soft.

My husband just informed me that the above paragraph makes me sound really grumpy. Apparently he’s on team guacamole vomit. Oh, well. At least we both agree that leftover peanut-butter cups need to be eaten swiftly, blamelessly, competition style– straight from the trick or treat bowl. Marriage is all about compromise. We do what we can. […]

The Minted Pear | A Green Juice Recipe

Are you looking at the title of this post and thinking, “Whoa. Did you just name that green juice like one would name a cocktail?” Yes. The answer is yes. I thought it would make green juice fun and flirty. It was either Kale, Pears, Mint n’ Stuff or The Minted Pear. I stand by my choice. We deserve to make our green juice fancy.  Pinkies up, yo.

Alright, so last week was off the chain. I feel like I got hit by a birthday bus. How are you guys doing? You good? Did you make any of those donuts yet? Oh, lawdy! Those things are crazy good. Go make those and then come back here and make this. The two go hand in hand. You’ll get it. This stuff is good for an “okay, maybe that fourth donut was a bit much” hangover. I should know… I drank and entire quart of it. Not kidding. It goes down real easy. […]

Delicata, Pomegranate & Avocado Kale Salad {Gluten-Free, Paleo & Vegan}

Recently I completed a ten day cleanse. I needed a reset. My body was feeling sluggish, tired and heavy. I consulted a holistic nutritionist and off I went. Shakes. Veggies. Supplements. Repeat.

I didn’t talk about the cleansing process on here. I didn’t really want to trouble you all with my inevitable “EHRMAGHERD, ALL I WANT TO DO IS EAT MY ARM OFF AND YELL LOUDLY” attitude. That happened around day seven. Detox is a funny thing. It can make a usually jovial human being into a crazy, wonky-eyed monster, willing to sell their first born child on the black market for half a steak and a glass of bourbon. Perhaps this is dramatic, but still… it’s a thing. One night I cried into a bowl of Brussels sprouts. Just sobbing and eating. No big deal. I asked my husband to ignore me, as this was all just “part of my process”. He kept his eyes to himself like a gentleman as I tried to choke down sprouts through light sobs. This is no easy feat. Did you know you use a lot of your cry muscles to swallow? No? You don’t cry when you eat? Oh, ok… […]

Kale Salad With Golden Raisins, Walnuts & Pecorino

As most of you know, my husband went out of town on business. How do you know this? Well… I wrote a pretty awkward post about it. Remember my last post where I drew you a Capybara Ballarina and there were talks of me eating entire boxes of gluten-free mac and cheese? Yeah. #SingleLadyProblems. Well, things didn’t get any more normal in the evenings to follow. I baked and consumed an entire dozen chocolate chip cookies. I spent Saturday evening making jelly and sobbing while watching the movie Stepmom. Don’t worry… I totally saw a bunch of friends and went out into the world, but when it got late and my hands needed to keep busy, I would get in the kitchen or get out a paintbrush or turn on Netflix and watch four solid hours of birthing documentaries. Whoa. Real story. I saw everything. I then spent an hour and a half researching midwives and doulas and water births. And no I’m not pregnant, I just have access to Google, which lends itself to my crazy inquisitive spirit. Thanks, Google. […]

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