Spring Asparagus Salad with Pistachios and Pecorino

Hello. It’s nice to see you all again.

First off, I’d just like to casually acknowledge that I’m not dead. So, that’s good. Still alive. But, if you follow me on Instagram, and watch my Insta-Stories, you might know that I happened to catch some sort of viral pneumonia situation, which at times, felt like I very well might be dead. Or, at least deliriously living in between a state of breathing and some sort of dark cough-prison where my bones weigh a million pounds and the Real Housewives of Potomac waxes un-poetically in the background. Do you understand the depths of Netflix garbage you can consume in a period of nine weeks of respiratory lock down? I pray you never have to know. […]

Grain-Free Spring Harvest Quiche with Sausage, Sun Dried Tomatoes & Goat Cheese

There are defining moments in life where you’re forced to examine what makes you different. For me, one of these moments centered around a hot dog. It was a sunny afternoon in ’94, and a friend of mine had come over for a play date. We were hungry, so my mom suggested some snacks. One of the things on the list was “a cold hot dog”. This didn’t strike me as particularly alarming, as I had been eating hot dogs in various states of cooked-ness for as long as I could remember. It wasn’t uncommon to grab a cold one right from the package and eat it with my hands like it was a hydrated Slim Jim. I grew up in a Hawaiian family, and this was normal. Other ways to eat hot dogs included: in a sandwich, fried in a pan, with Pork n’ Beans, and of course, with eggs. […]

Warm Brussels Sprout Salad With Roots, Radishes & Toasted Coconut

This bowl of veggies speaks to my seasonal confusion. Warm brussies at the bottom, watermelon radishes chilling on the top with roots, macadamia nuts and toasted coconut. It’s some sort of a fall meets spring culinary mullet. Business on the bottom, party on the top. But, I’m not complaining. If I have to stare at a mullet of any kind, I choose this one. Or, one of my Dad’s headshots from the 80’s. He had a glorious and naturally curly mullet. The photo is in black and white, with a soft glow emanating off of his ringlets. It’s really something. So, I should change my statement and say that if I have to stare at a brightly colored metaphorical mullet, it would be this salad. You know, since my preferred black and white mullet slot is already taken. I like to clear these things up. They feel important.

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Easy Beef Kebabs With Tangy Rosemary Chimichurri {Gluten-Free & Paleo}

I’ve been slowly but surely learning some lessons in the past couple of weeks. Shall we discuss?
1) If  you happen to be jogging and someone pulls to the side of the road, rolls down their window, and extends their arm out towards you to hand you some sort of piece of paper, don’t stop. Keep jogging. Maybe you thought this piece of paper was just some sort of pamphlet. You have been getting a lot of Jehovah’s Witness pamphlets lately from the nice people that like to knock on your door early in the morning when you aren’t wearing pants. What’s another one, right? Wrong. This is not a godly pamphlet. This is a crudely written note stating “Please you call me.” Elaborate, right? Is he driving around with a stack of these things? Well, more elaborate would be the stick figure drawing off to the right of his written plea. Although the arms and the legs are stick-ly, he has managed to tack on what I can only describe as a shocking portrayal of genitalia. Jog. Jog faster.
2) If someone knocks on your door and you are not wearing pants, it’s usually a Jehovah’s Witness. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with them. Everyone has freedom to their own beliefs. The problem I have is how often they seem to knock on my door when I am pants-less. Don’t open the door when you aren’t wearing pants, even if you think you can just peek your head through and cover your body with the main part of the door. You have a crazy Golden Retriever. She will try to get outside. You will be on your door step with a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses, pants-less, trying to wrangle your dog. This is uncomfortable for everyone. Also, can we discuss how every single one of the pamphlets I receive has some version of kids smiling while eating a bounty of fruits and veggies, along with some sort of moose or other woodland creature. I’m confused. Probably as confused as the poor JWs were because I wasn’t wearing pants at 2:00pm on a Tuesday. […]