Slow-Cooker Margarita Beef

Margarita Beef isn’t like Margherita Pizza.

You know that moment when you’re thinking, “Oh, Gosh–what glorious fusion! They’ve finally combined my favorite alcoholic beverage with my favorite slab of carbs and cheese!! Praise Cheese-us!” But, no. They didn’t figure out how to infuse your pizza with a fishbowl marg. Turns out Margherita Pizza was named after a queen and not after tequila. No one’s getting drunk off of pizza. Put your shirt back down. No one is going to lick that salt off your belly-button now. But, I appreciate your enthusiasm to make pizza-body-shots a thing. You can reply with at least twelve sad face emojis if need be. I get your disappointment. But, fear not. Cue up your emoji keyboard and get ready to fire a Spanish Dancer, because I basically slow-cooked this beef in an actual cocktail. […]

Watermelon & Lime Tequila Popsicles

Well, it’s that time of year again. The sun is high in the sky and the internet is churning out popsicles with the pointed enthusiasm of a confetti cannon. That’s a thing, right? A cannon that shoots out massive quantities of confetti? If it’s not, we’re just going to pretend that it is. There’s even a emoji for that. You know that party hat with the confetti coming out of it? That’s emoji for confetti cannon. And, since there’s no popsicle emoji (don’t even get me started), we could simply articulate this whole situation with like seven confetti hats, a blazing hot sun, and a Spanish dancer. Oh, and like five watermelons and three fruity cocktail drinks to represent the tequila in these. I’m glad that we’ve agreed on our emoji game. It makes me feel more secure.  […]

Jalapeño & Grapefruit Margaritas

This week. Let’s talk about it.

It started off with the glaring realization Christmas is hurling itself towards my face with lots of velocity, force, mass and all of those other science-y terms.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Christmas comes every single year. It even comes on the same day every single year. Yet I still find myself in an anxious and stressed out state of Christmas denial EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Note to self: Breathe. Calm down. Go watch Sister Act 2 for the third time this week. It helps. Something about that dude wearing overall jean shorts while singing (nay, rapping) Joyful Joyful never fails to turn your frown upside down.  […]

Beet, Honey & Yogurt Smoothie

How is everyone’s guacamole hangover going? You know what they say… the best way to cure a hangover is to eat some guacamole in the shower. Or was that drink a beer in the shower? I can never remember. Perhaps do both to cover your bases. Tortilla chips in the shower are not recommended, however, as they tend to get soggy when mixed with water. You’re going to have to go at it with a spoon. NBD.

So, this weekend I made one of these:

Oh, Emma. […]