Back when I was a teenager, hot weather meant a couple of things.
Firstly, I was probably going to wear a top that showed my belly button and a suspicious amount of the ol’ chesticles. Secondly, as the weather turned hot, the classrooms would start to smell really strongly of CK One or other popular man-scents. It turns out that heat activates its pungency, allowing it to mix with stinky adolescent pits and creating what I’m sure to be a toxic death cloud — a cloud that was teeming with the scent of desperation and overly gelled hair. Thirdly, after school I was going to drive my sweaty-crop-top wearing self to 7-Eleven to dispense a slushie into a BIG GULP cup. I would usually opt for cherry mixed with coca-cola. The ice would turn a murky brown. Sometimes they had a flavor that came in neon blue, which was fun because it would give you a smurf tongue. I can’t recall the exact flavor–but, I’m sure it tasted blue. These were the things of early summer. […]