Roasted Cauliflower Salad With Olives And Capers

Look-y here. I’ve managed to make you something that isn’t breakfast. I’ve apparently been on one serious breakfast-y kick. I’ve been turning out waffles, quiche, and smoothies galore. I point out the fact I’m bringing you something non-breakfast since I am pretty sure tomorrow (or at least soon) I am posting something breakfast-y. Sorry (not really).
So…yesterday got weird. Mostly because I’m me and can’t seem to stay off the internet no matter how terrifying it can be. I had a weird tingle in my leg, which I promptly Googled (bad move). Don’t do this, friends. Don’t Google every twinge or tingle or pain that happens in your body just because you can. I’ve been telling myself this for years, but I can’t seem to take my own advice. When you Google a symptom, no matter what your symptom is, it usually leads to “OMG, I AM DYING!!!” Since I was experiencing a weird leg tingle, the sage and soothing advice of the interweb made me believe that I was probably, most likely, right in the middle of a stroke. Things got dramatic. I started pacing back and forth, thinking “OMG. I am having a stroke. This is not good. This is extremely bad.” The dog looked at me suspiciously and without major concern. Aren’t dogs supposed to be sympathetic? Geez. […]

Crustless Kale & Feta Quiche With Greek Yogurt

I am back. I can breathe out of my nose. It basically feels like the first day of spring. I want to click my heels and dance with my hands waving in the air. I want to do jumping jacks.  I want to bake cookies. I want to do anything that is not struggling to breathe while lying on a couch and watching terrible daytime programming. I want to eat anything but chicken soup. If I eat anymore chicken soup, I fear I will actually transform into a chicken. This would make my cooking/blogging life difficult. Wings don’t have thumbs, making it very hard to type and even harder to lift things like pots or baking sheets.
Enough of that. I haven’t left the house for more than ten minutes at a time in the last six days. Forgive all preposterous declarations of what life would be like if I was indeed a blogging chicken. It would be hard, that’s all I am sayin’.  Also, I would probably not make you things like quiche. Chickens don’t eat quiche. Aren’t you happy I am not a chicken? […]

Kale, Spinach & Artichoke Dip With Greek Yogurt

I have some confessions for you…
I know pretty much nothing about football, unless you count watching every season of Friday Night Lights (Clear eyes, Full Hears, Can’t Lose). I know there are touchdowns and fumbles and first downs but I cannot tell you which is which. I grew up in a football household. My parents would wear jerseys and make large volumes of guacamole for Super Bowl Sunday. I would play with my Barbie Dream House, make things with glitter, and occasionally comment on how tight all the football players wore their pants. I somehow managed to miss learning all the rules. When my father asked me if I would be watching the Super Bowl this year, I responded honestly and told him probably not. He was disgusted. How could he have gone so wrong? The 49ers were playing and I wasn’t even going to turn on the TV? Awful. So, on game day I decided to get into the spirit of things in order to not be a total disappointment to the man who raised me. I bought a lot of spinach dip and a bag of crinkle cut potato chips and ate my weight in both. Apparently getting into the spirit means me eating myself into a dip coma. […]

Carrot, Apple & Ginger Juice

It’s juice time again.

I like ’em real thick and juicy.

That actually does not pertain to how I feel about my juice, I have just been listening to a lot of 90’s music lately. Like…a lot. Like…I might have spent over an hour looking up music videos from the 90’s on YouTube last Friday. No big deal. Subsequently, I have had the song Baby Got Back stuck in my head for days. This only becomes awkward when you start singing it subconsciously in the checkout line at the grocery store. The woman in front of you turns around after you get to the “L.A. face with a Oakland Booty” part of the tune. You make eye contact. You stop singing. You think about winking at her but realize that just perpetuates the weirdness. Don’t make it weirder. It’s too late, you already winked. She probably thinks you’re hitting on her. Oh man, you can’t recover from this one.  Not. At. All. You could try to explain that you have just been listening to a whole lot of 90’s music lately, and you were not singing the song directly to her. You could try to explain that you sometimes just wink in awkward situations, or you could lie and say you had something in your eye. The explanation of your behavior will only make things weirder. You grab your groceries and pretend like you forgot something in the produce section. You wait until this person leaves and find another check out line. Whew. Yikes. Get out of there. […]