Berry, Lime & Spearmint Tea Smoothie

I’d love to be able to share in everyone’s fall enthusiasm. Boasting pumpkin everything, with the promise of scarves and boots and 90% less pit stains on tank tops. I’m with you guys. I would like it to rain. I would like the dusty California hills to be able to settle down with a nice cool drink of water — or vodka — whichever falls out of the sky first. But, right now it kind of feels like fall will never get here. It’s what I affectionately call “I’M-PROBABLY-GONNA-DIE-HOT” outside. Also, by affectionately, I mean dramatically — and most often peppered with choice swear words. So, here we are, clinging to the hope of fall, and forced into late summer survival mode. Also, our meals are going to be exclusively smoothies. K, thanks.

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Honeydew, Mint & Cucumber Popsicles

There are times in life when it seems best not to open your eyes.

Perhaps you’re scared that if you open your eyes you’re going to see something that you simply can’t un-see. Life might change a little. An awkward moment might ignite into a full on fiasco. You’ll want to close those eyes back up, and shut them up tight with all of your feelings. Or, there are just moments where you wish you could turn off at least one of your senses. File this under the category of growing up living in a room that happened to be oriented just below the bedroom of my parents who were very much in love. Or, wanting to be suddenly struck blind upon accidentally walking into what would be considered a “key party” between much older consenting adults in a dear friend’s hot tub. These are the more unfortunate days of our lives. These are the moments where you wish for the opposite of super powers. Like, instead of “Girl with X-ray Vision” you’d simply be glad to exist as “Girl with No Eyes, Ears, or Gag Reflex”. […]

Watermelon & Lime Tequila Popsicles

Well, it’s that time of year again. The sun is high in the sky and the internet is churning out popsicles with the pointed enthusiasm of a confetti cannon. That’s a thing, right? A cannon that shoots out massive quantities of confetti? If it’s not, we’re just going to pretend that it is. There’s even a emoji for that. You know that party hat with the confetti coming out of it? That’s emoji for confetti cannon. And, since there’s no popsicle emoji (don’t even get me started), we could simply articulate this whole situation with like seven confetti hats, a blazing hot sun, and a Spanish dancer. Oh, and like five watermelons and three fruity cocktail drinks to represent the tequila in these. I’m glad that we’ve agreed on our emoji game. It makes me feel more secure.  […]

Grain-Free Lemon Vanilla Cookies

It’s Monday. I’m tired from Weekending. Yes, this is totally a thing.

You know how people are always like “I need a vacation from my vacation –wahhhhhh!!”? Because that’s a thing that people always say (myself included–wahhhhhh!). Well, I propose that we start needing weekends from our weekends. This will make us professional weekenders. And, I’m all about learning more professional skills. Imagine your new resume! Under your special skills you could put things like: Typing, Excel & Weekending. I wouldn’t call myself an expert on corporate business strategies, but I’m pretty sure your new boss would be thrilled to see that one of your core skills is blindly looking forward to Fridays. I think it, simply put, makes you a forward thinker. They’re into that stuff, right? I don’t know. Maybe I should just stick to things that I actually know–like, how Mondays are most certainly for cookies. Yes, that’s my final answer.  […]