Honest Whole 30 Recap, Week Three + Rosemary Meatballs With Dijon Collard Greens & Apricots + Enter to WIN the Autoimmune Paleo Cookbook!

Well, my lovely friends–It’s been THREE whole weeks. If you are just joining us this week, I can catch you up with Week One and Week Two!
For three whole weeks, no cheese has touched these lips. No grains have graced my tongue. Nary a bean has entered this pie hole. More than that… no actual pie has entered this pie hole (not even pizza pie). These days I stress eat carrots. Do we call this progress? Maybe. Does the fact I think those carrots taste dang sweet feel like a victory? Not sure. Mostly I feel like nature is tricking me into feeling like veggies belong in a Willy Wonka film. That’s fine. We can make that chocolate river into a green smoothie. Add some chia for texture. Not too much, though, or we can’t boat on it.  This has already gotten weird. You’re welcome.
All in all, things have been going really great. I don’t feel as tortured and dramatic in the day to day. There have been a few evenings of cravings where I just sub in something benign. Oh, I can’t have a hunk of chocolate? No problem. I’ll just eat this apricot and some almonds. The substitution does one of two things–it either satisfies you or you’ll find yourself grumpy and not able to eat it because it’s not chocolate. The second one means you’re not really hungry. If you’re looking all sideways at an almond and blaming it for not being dessert, just put the almonds down. No need to curse at them. I’ve already done it for you. We’ve had a dialogue. It turns out it wasn’t the almond that has issues, it was me. Typical. […]

On My Writing Process + Blog Tour

There’s a Blog Tour of sorts going on, and it’s all about writing! Did you just read that sentence and go “Uh, what the heck is a blog tour? Do I get to visit your house? I feel confused.” Don’t worry, I had no idea what it was either until I got a sweet email from my friend Ellen. Ellen writes the blog In My Red Kitchen. She’s Dutch. I married a Dutchman. We like to bond over our love of all things Dutch (see: eating CHOCOLATE sprinkles on TOAST — yes, that’s real).
Anyway, she explained to me that a blog tour was a way to connect readers to blogs they might have never found, all while learning a little bit about the blogger who is writing the post. At the end of your post, you pass the torch to another blogger. Does that make sense? I’m not sure it does. Are you guys onto me yet that I don’t really know what I’m doing. Shhh. Don’t tell Ellen. I’m going to answer a series of questions that she sent me and hope I’m doing this right. Ready. Set. GO! […]

Honest Whole 30 Recap, Week Two + Raw Zucchini Ribbon Salad With Tomatoes, Basil & Olives

Alright, folks! It’s already been a week since the Honest Whole 30 Recap, Week One!

If you didn’t catch that post, you can read it here. I get into what the Whole 30 is, explore the creepy term “sex with your pants on” in relationship to cauliflower pizza, explain why I am not crazy-militant with myself,  and how I accidentally ended up drinking all the bourbon. Oh, and no… just in case you’re wondering bourbon is not on the approved Whole 30 list of foods. Whoops. But hey, we’re keeping it real.

So, today I get to share with you the nitty-gritty of the second week along with a super simple recipe for this zucchini ribbon salad. See that picture? I put all of that in my face. All of it. I photographed it with two plates to make it look like I was a dainty lady– and that I wasn’t the only person hoovering a salad built for four into my singular gaping pie-hole.

Sometimes you just need to eat all the veggies, because you can’t eat all the chocolate. Also, when in doubt… spiralize all the veggies. It just makes things fun. I don’t have the scientific proof, but I’m pretty sure there is some sort of study somewhere by some guy who likes to do studies which states that eating zucchini in its spiralized form is 110 % more fun then eating “regular” zucchini. Also, I might have just made that up. […]

Three Ingredient Watermelon & Mint Slushie

Back when I was a teenager, hot weather meant a couple of things.

Firstly, I was probably going to wear a top that showed my belly button and a suspicious amount of the ol’ chesticles. Secondly, as the weather turned hot, the classrooms would start to smell really strongly of CK One or other popular man-scents. It turns out that heat activates its pungency, allowing it to mix with stinky adolescent pits and creating what I’m sure to be a toxic death cloud — a cloud that was teeming with the scent of desperation and overly gelled hair. Thirdly, after school I was going to drive my sweaty-crop-top wearing self to 7-Eleven to dispense  a slushie into a BIG GULP cup. I would usually opt for cherry mixed with coca-cola. The ice would turn a murky brown. Sometimes they had a flavor that came in neon blue, which was fun because it would give you a smurf tongue. I can’t recall the exact flavor–but, I’m sure it tasted blue. These were the things of early summer. […]