Berry, Lime & Spearmint Tea Smoothie

I’d love to be able to share in everyone’s fall enthusiasm. Boasting pumpkin everything, with the promise of scarves and boots and 90% less pit stains on tank tops. I’m with you guys. I would like it to rain. I would like the dusty California hills to be able to settle down with a nice cool drink of water — or vodka — whichever falls out of the sky first. But, right now it kind of feels like fall will never get here. It’s what I affectionately call “I’M-PROBABLY-GONNA-DIE-HOT” outside. Also, by affectionately, I mean dramatically — and most often peppered with choice swear words. So, here we are, clinging to the hope of fall, and forced into late summer survival mode. Also, our meals are going to be exclusively smoothies. K, thanks.

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Kiwi + Matcha Green Smoothie

The weekend said “Let there be candy”, and there was candy. This was one of my better Halloween years as far as not gorging myself with peanut butter cups. However, I did go kind of mental on a bag of these Dark Chocolate Honey Mints (Only three benign ingredients–they are a revelation)!

I’m totally not bragging or saying that I’m better than you for not eating Snickers bars trough-style out of a pumpkin-shaped vat. In fact, I am currently doing an autoimmune protocol to heal my gut… so, I’m probably worse than you. Also, there was that time that I ate like two pieces of this awesomefunfetti cake for breakfast. I understand what it feels like to have a stomach full of sugar and regret.

This morning my body was like “Let there be smoothies”.  Okay, body. I get it. I’ll schlep my blender onto my counter top and make some green magic. Just you watch. I’ll put in a bunch of green things and liquefy them. It’s gonna feel real good. It might even give us an energy boost. I can always use one of those. I mean, Mondays are hard.  […]

Beet, Honey & Yogurt Smoothie

How is everyone’s guacamole hangover going? You know what they say… the best way to cure a hangover is to eat some guacamole in the shower. Or was that drink a beer in the shower? I can never remember. Perhaps do both to cover your bases. Tortilla chips in the shower are not recommended, however, as they tend to get soggy when mixed with water. You’re going to have to go at it with a spoon. NBD.

So, this weekend I made one of these:

Oh, Emma. […]

Spiced Blueberry Cashew & Coconut Smoothie

You know how life is extremely unexpected?

Let me give you some examples.

Sometimes  you’re just trying to walk your dog. Maybe on this walk you see a shirtless stranger barreling towards you on their bicycle. He is smoking a cigarette. You can’t help but think how difficult it would be to smoke a cigarette WHILE biking the hills that surround this area. That is both cardiovascular-ly challenging and counter-intuitive. You also can’t help but wonder if he’s chilly. It’s sunny, but the wind is brisk. You yourself are in a jacket and pants. He is topless.  While you are pondering both his fashion and health decisions he yells out “Get off of the flapping sidewalk!” while narrowly missing your paws with his bike tires and puffing a thick of smoke in your face. Note: He totally didn’t say flapping. I’m just trying to keep this kid-friendly. This interaction is odd. Why do I have to get off the sidewalk? I am the one walking. I am the one wearing a top. Also, why are you yelling at me? Unexpected. […]