Creamy Mushroom, Bacon & Leek Soup

This morning I was startled awake by the heinous loud beeping of the carbon monoxide detector. My heart began pumping quicker, signaling to me that we probably needed to evacuate the house before submitting to a gas induced death. I jumped out of bed. I tried to think about where the cat carrier was. I found the dog sleeping on the couch, unimpressed by my antics. I put on shoes. I did not put on a bra. I grabbed my cell phone. These are the actions that I took in a very sleepy and very confusing emergency. I texted my husband, in a calm fashion. I was instructed to climb an it’s-too-early-for-this-$hiz-step-ladder and press a button that said “SILENCE”. As it turns out, the carbon monoxide detector was simply malfunctioning. Phew. In celebration that I would not be evacuating my home, and would in fact live to see the afternoon, I passed out into a deep sleep still wearing a questionable pair of crocks. I only know that I wore my crocks to bed because I woke up with them off and under the covers. It’s confusing to wake up with a rubber clog negotiating its way into your backside. […]

Roasted Kale Sprouts, Apricots & Bacon

It’s a sweaty August afternoon. And, yeah. You guessed it. I’m sweating.

I’m sitting here writing to you with an aggressive amount of coconut oil in my hair, dishes in my sink, and wearing last night’s pajamas. I really overshot things in the attempt to give my recently colored hair a much needed coconut oil moisture mask. Like, I can feel oil dripping down the sides of my face, and maybe down my back. I’ve tucked paper towels into the front of my sports bra in order to make a bib to catch the drippings. This is real life, my friends. This is real life. At any moment I could be mauled with an enthusiastic Golden Retriever tongue bath. Emma likes coconut oil a lot… so, I’m trying to type quietly as not to wake her from her power nap. My hair could become her afternoon snack. So, shhhhh. She’s dreaming little doggy dreams, her legs moving wildly trying to chase things. I wonder if she smells the oil. I wonder if she’s chasing me. Yikes! […]

Bacon & Apple Beef Liver Pâté

“What am I? Chopped liver?” 

This was a phrase commonly used in my childhood. I hugged one grandparent and the other would expectantly wait for their hug and exclaim something about being a piece of chopped liver. It was a phrase that popped up a lot. I’m sure you’ve heard it or used it, or had a Nana say it to you while squeezing your cheeks. The phrase was used to express a feeling of being left out. The visual of sad, grey, organ-meat-mush being neglected on the side of one’s plate is haunting. Until this past year, this was the only experience I had with liver. It was only a concept for loneliness and isolation. An expression. A visual symbol of exclusion.  So, in my brain it wasn’t meant for human consumption. I equated it on the same plane as drinking a tall glass of human tears. It’s just not done. Also, sad. Also, gross. […]

BLT Breakfast Salad With Soft Boiled Eggs & Avocado

So I’ve been meaning to tell you…

I’ve been eating salad for breakfast.  It’s true. I wrote an entire post with my best breakfast salad tips and tricks over here.

The truth is, I’ve never been a breakfast traditionalist.  It’s not that I am opposed to breakfast food at all. In fact, I love it. I just don’t let “breakfast rules” limit where the morning is allowed to go. I’m not going to freak out if breakfast looks a lot like lunch or dinner, ya dig? Where some people find the idea of eating last night’s soup pretty gross, I find it to be pretty great. Depending on how long you’ve been hanging out over here, you know that I relish in the mornings where there is a leftover steak in the fridge. Yes, I will gnaw it cold and straight off the bone. No, I will not make a plate. Yes, I am an animal. Just listening to my body, one weird meal at a time.  […]