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Crispy Chicken Skillet With Artichokes, Beets, Lemon & Olives

Oh, hey there. Long time no chat. Where have you guys been? Oh, wait. You’re saying it’s my fault we haven’t talked in a while? Correct. Guilty. I’ll fill you in on the gaps. I got glutened (oof!). Got better. Got the stomach flu (double oof!). Got better. Made crispy chicken in a skillet. Now, we’re all caught up. That’s the really quick version. The longer version involves unsavory details, profanity and drinking my weight’s worth in liquids. The same pair of  large grey sweat pants adorning my hairy unkempt legs. Also, I’m totally caught up on all the trash television. So, if you wanna gossip about what’s happening on The Bachelorette — I’m your girl. Don’t even get me started on the guy who claimed to be an Amateur Sex Coach. The whole thing just makes me feel really weird. Also, if you’re not watching Married At First Sight, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. Probably living it. I should probably take off these grey sweats and join you. This chicken is a step in the right direction. Chick it out. Get it? Like, check it out… but, with chick, because chicken puns. You’re welcome to throw stuff at me now. Or, if you want it to really sting, just silently yet aggressively face palm in my direction. Good. That’s perfect.

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Slow-Cooker Cuban Brisket Taco Bowls

I don’t usually write blog posts on Sunday evenings. I’m usually in the throes of doing a week’s worth of laundry, meal-prepping, and simultaneously trying to nap with my mouth open and watch old episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Yes, it’s hard to do all those things at once, but I’m nothing if not ambitious. Or, if we’re honest, sometimes half the laundry doesn’t get folded, only vegetables get chopped up for my “meal prep”, and I’m like WAY deep into a Grey’s Anatomy binge. Like, WAY deep. Like, season 10 deep. Like, Bailey might have OCD and Meredith and Christina are fighting and April is going to marry what appears to be a thirty five year old virgin DEEP. Ooof. None of this is really important though–just the simple point that on Sundays you won’t usually find me here furiously typing up every weird thought that happens to come to my brain.

But, tonight, I found myself thinking that all of you need the recipe for these super easy taco bowls. ‘Tis the season. I want to be the Santa Claus of your Cinco De Mayo celebration. Santa de Mayo. Except, I’ll wear a sombrero and my belly will jiggle like a bowl full of guacamole. My sleigh will be pulled by donkeys. I demand that you leave out taquitos and a glass full of tequila. Yes, I will still be coming down the chimney–because, Santa. Ho-Ho-HOLA! FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO! A merry taco bowl to you, and to all a goodnight. Someone feel free to stop me any time now…  […]

Quick Pickled Red Onions & Radishes

Cinco de Mayo is swiftly approaching.

I’m not Mexican. But, on Cinco de Mayo I get to pretend. I get to high five all the tacos with my face, raise a margarita or two to my mouth hole, and worship all things guacamole. This is special for me. But, almost any excuse to put guacamole or carne asada in my face is special for me. Do we need an excuse? I’m not sure we do. I suppose I could live every day as if it were the fifth of May. Minus the kitschy sombrero wearing and the early afternoon margarita. Yes, every day could be the fifth of May. Therefore every day could be special. Did I just discover the meaning of life? Don’t answer that.  […]

Grain-Free Dark Chocolate Brownies With Macadamia Nuts + Emily’s Virtual Baby Shower!

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted in these parts. I’ll totally catch up with y’all real soon.

But, today isn’t about me. Today is about my dear blogging buddy Emily, of The Pig & Quill. My favorite internet piggy is crazy pregnant with a baby girl. You guuuuuyz, the pig is about to deliver a piglet!!! And by piglet, I obviously mean a tiny, adorable, squishy little human that will inevitably make my aging ovaries hurt with every single Instagram photo of her adorable newborn face. […]

Grain-Free Sweet Potato Waffle Breakfast BLT With Garlic Basil Aioli {Gluten-Free & Paleo}

It’s been three weeks since my oven broke. It’s still broken. There’s this whole commotion about a broken computer piece and if they make the replacements for my particular oven model anymore. It’s resulted in a very confused elderly land lady, and a slightly frustrated food blogging tenant (that’s me).

It’s not like I can’t cook ANYTHING. I have a working stove top, a couple of crock pots, a pressure cooker, a deep fryer, and a dehydrator. But, since I know my oven is broken it only makes me want to use it more. Go figure, right?  I’ve found myself lamenting over whole roasted chicken with crispy chicken skin, crispy Brussels sprouts, cookies and scones. I feel slightly incapacitated. How can the girl who makes food for a living not have a functioning oven? I was trying to make analogies and all I could come up with was it feels like I am a concert pianist with lobster claws instead of hands.  This metaphor might lean towards the dramatic.  […]

Spicy Ahi Tuna Poke {Gluten-Free & Paleo}

My oven is broken.

Like, sincerely broken. Not in that “the dog ate my homework”, excuse-y kind of way. I’m not blaming the oven for almost setting my cookies on fire yesterday, even though it was programmed to bake at 350 degrees. Except, that’s exactly what I’m doing — because, instead of heating up to a sensible cookie-baking temp, it heated up to approximately five billion degrees. Parchment paper turned to ash. Macadamia nuts and dark chocolate morphed together into hardened lumps of expensive coal. This all happened within three minutes.

I went to turn the oven off, and it said “This function is not in use”… Uh… Okay. So, I’ll just live like this now. I’ll get used to existing in a home with burnt cookies and a blazing oven inferno — spouting hell fire and destroying dreams. For a moment I imagined us dragging blankets into the kitchen and camping out in front of our new perma-hot stove heater for the rest of the winter. It’s the more expensive version of one of those garbage can fires you see in hobo movies. I tried to turn it off again. It shut down this time. Just for kicks I tried to turn it back on and it gave me an error message. To anyone who’s experienced this you will understand when I say  my oven was giving me a glaring, steaming, cookie-charring middle finger.

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Shredded Brussels Sprout & Green Apple Salad With Avocado & Pomegranate Seeds

Ever have those moments in life where you realize your vegetable consumption is WAY too scanty?

I usually feel this way after a holiday full of cookies, a birthday full of cake, or a vacation where I’ve favored margaritas over food groups. Or, heck… sometimes there’s no explanation at all. A girl just needs a serious veggie-vention (like, intervention…but, with veggies. It’s a stretch. I know) from time to time.  It’s in these moments that I find myself with insatiable veggie cravings. Like, standing at the kitchen counter shoveling handfuls of plain spring mix into my mouth. Or, shotgunning carrots like a frat boy would do beers. So, I figure I might as well stop grazing like an uncontrollable fridge-savvy rabbit and get down with a giant salad instead.  […]

Zucchini Pasta With Lemon Pesto, Chard & Oven-Roasted Tomatoes {Gluten-Free}

It’s 90 degrees in my backyard and my tomato plants are still busy ripening tomatoes. Sure feels like summer to me.

I know that the days are starting to get shorter, and the mornings are coated with a sleepy-fog that rolls inland from the coast. But by the afternoon the fog burns off and it’s time for shorts and a reapplication of deodorant.

Summer is clinging on. It’s produce is clinging on. Oh, and I’m clinging on. So, until my tomato plants start to shrivel under frosty mornings, and I’ve located the last pretty-looking peach at the farmer’s market, I’m just not done. Pumpkin is coming. I get it. But, let’s enjoy this late summer bounty while we still can. Let’s make pesto and roasted tomatoes and slather all of it over some zucchini noodles. This feels about right. Pumpkin scones can wait a few weeks.  […]

Gluten-Free Funfetti Cake With Buttercream Frosting

It was my husband’s birthday, so I took four sticks of butter and a mess  of sugar and made this big ol’ cake.

I know, I know. This isn’t our usual speed. I am known for my healthy grain-free scones and big guiltless pans of meatballs. We drink green juice. We also drink bourbon. But, this. Well, it’s out of my comfort zone. It’s a layer cake. Remember that time I cried over a layer cake? Yeah, that got real. But sometimes, just sometimes we step out of our comfort zones for love. […]

Bourbon Tea Lemonade Popsicles With Peaches

So, it’s been a crazy week. Albeit, most of it good–I am just losing track of time and space.

It’s been the kind of week where I thought it was definitely (had to be) Friday when in fact it was only Tuesday. This can make one feel as if they have dementia, so that’s cool. I feel as if I’m a confusing fortnight short of forgetting my first name and wearing a pizza on my head. Okay, maybe that’s a little overboard — but whatever the next step is after putting your car keys in the freezer or trying to open up your car door with your house keys is. That. […]